Thankfully, now we are logistically prepared for the arrival of our first child. The car seat is in the car, the crib is assembled, and his closet is organized and diapers are handy. See, we're not that negligent. But one day after his due date, Calvin is still comfortably mooching off in my womb. We are eager to meet this little boy, but he seems content to make us wait. I guess he's doing this because he knows I still have not finished my series of blog posts. He's so smart!
Well, in the two previous posts, I've explained the ways in which I'm spiritually, mentally and emotionally preparing for the arrival of my son. The first way was through reading. The second way was through prayer. I explained that I bring myself up to the throne of grace often and pray for my own ability to mother him. Well, I also pray for two other people quite regularly.
The first is for Sergio, my husband and Calvin's dad. I'm sure anyone who reads this blog on a somewhat regular basis already knows how I feel about my husband. (He's FANTASTIC!) And I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but I really do love him and admire his character. He's faithful to me and to our covenant bond of marriage in ways in which many people don't even consider.
When a woman has this type of man by her side, it's easy to eagerly want to do what is in his best interest. This desire to serve him plays out differently from day to day, but the best thing I can do for him is pray for him. I do this often. I pray for his safety, for his health, etc. but today, I'm going to talk about how I'm specifically praying for him as we wait to be given a baby to raise.
Firstly, and most importantly, I'm praying for his relationship with the Lord. Before he can be a faithful husband and father, he must be a faithful follower of Christ. A man's relationship before God governs the quality of his relationship to his family and to anyone else. When his relationship to his Savior is tested, frayed, or weakened, it's only a matter of time before his relationship with his wife and his children will be negatively affected. My primary prayer for my husband is that God's grace sustains his faith and confidence in Christ and that He give Sergio the desire, drive, and diligence to continue to pursue Him as his greatest treasure.
Secondly, I'm praying for Sergio to be given abundant wisdom and clarity as to what is required of him as a husband and as a father. The best way for a man to be a great father is to first be a great husband. Nothing gives a child a better sense of security and love than a mother and a father who are wholly committed to the strength of their marriage. Sergio excels in this area. I pray that God continues to give him the grace needed to excel still more. But there also exists the need for wisdom and clarity in God's calling for fathers. At the end of the day, when Sergio comes before God to give an account for his life, the buck stops with him for the state of his household. He will have to give an account for his performance as the head and leader of the household. That is exclusively the role of the husband/father. It can't be a charge that is neglected or taken lightly and I pray that Sergio remains mindful and consistent. I believe he will.
Lastly, I pray for Sergio's biblical convictions to remain strong and for those convictions to be lived out in every area of his life. It's one thing to communicate convictions to children. It's quite another for them to see you cherish them and live them out with joy. I'm praying for Sergio's courage and boldness in this as our society is quickly changing into one that is hostile to many of the convictions we hold. I do not want our children to see us waver out of fear of man or persecution. I want them to see us love our Lord's standards and I want them to see it especially in their father.
The other person I'm praying for is Calvin. Duh! Firstly, I'm praying for Calvin's level of understanding. I know that as his mother, I'll be in the unique position to speak truth into his life more often than any one else - especially in the early years. I'm praying that God gives him a mind that is eager to listen and learn and understand. I pray that he's a little boy who asks a lot of questions, who loves to read, and who knows how to use his imagination skillfully. I pray that he desires to soak up as much knowledge as possible and for a desire to live out the knowledge and truth he does acquire.
The other way I'm praying for Calvin is in the company he keeps. The Lord was very gracious to me in the friends I made throughout my childhood, adolescence, and now adulthood. Not all were necessarily Christian or came from a Christian home, but he spared me from potentially corrupting elements. Children are impressionable and easily swayed. And rarely do they have the wisdom to discern when they are being influenced negatively. In his childhood, I pray that God gives Calvin friendships that would be edifying and that would point him back to Christ. In adolescence, I pray that God shapes and informs his discernment as he makes friends that will have a significant impact on his development into adulthood.
In my own adulthood, the Lord has blessed me with a wealth of godly women friends of all ages from whom to draw wisdom and insight. They have labored with me in prayer over countless issues, spoke into my life, helped me to see God in areas of my life that I was ignoring or neglecting, and have provided nuggets of truth that I often turn to when I'm in sin. I pray that God gives Calvin an army of godly men to surround him in this same way. Also, I pray that God makes Calvin the kind of friend and the kind of man that would edify, challenge, and sharpen other men as iron sharpens iron for the glory of God and the building up of His church.
Lastly, and most importantly, I'm praying for Calvin's salvation. I realize that this prayer really should've been the first mentioned as it dictates the rest. If Calvin is full of biblical knowledge, and knows how to play the part of the Christian, but has never been redeemed through Christ, it's all hypocrisy and he would just be a pharisee. The reason I saved this for last is because I can instill in him a habit of reading and study. I should and I will. I can also instruct him in how to be a good friend and when he's little, I can have authority over the company he keeps. But when it comes to the regeneration of his heart and the salvation of his soul, I can do nothing but pray. Sure, I can teach him what the bible says on the matter - and I will - and I can point to ways to look for evidence of his salvation - and I will. I can even encourage him to search his own heart and question its motives - and I will. But I cannot ensure there any specific conditions in our home that will guarantee his salvation. Nor will any amount of prayer guarantee his salvation. I can only pray for it and trust that the Lord has already decided the final state of his soul.
In one sense, this can be discouraging. Why bother going through all the trouble of raising up a child in a Christian home with Christian standards if there's no guarantee of his eternal security? Raising up a child in this manner requires sacrifice, denial of yourself, and hard labor. But in another, more real sense, it's a relief. My faithfulness to raise my child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is not primarily to ensure a specific outcome for my child: it is an expression of my love and desire for obedience to the Lord that saved me. That love for Him then secures my confidence in that whether he saves my son or not, He will be glorified for eternity. Therefore, my joy in Him not dependent on circumstance, not even the circumstance of my son's eternal security. His glory - not my children's salvation - is my soul's joy and satisfaction.
So, that's how I'm preparing for the newest addition to our family. This is how I will prepare for all subsequent additions, however many that will be. As for now, we patiently (not always as patiently as I ought) await God's blessing and know with a heavy heart that ultimately, this child (just like everything else we have authority over) is not mine. He is the Lord's and I am just a steward until the Lord sees fit to end my stewardship for his purposes.
Just waiting for the labor pains to begin.... :)
What it means to be a woman, a wife, and a student, from a sinner that's still learning.
No comments:
Post a Comment