Preparing for Calvin Part Two: Prayer for my Own Heart and Soul

Firstly, I know that this post is long overdue. I had intended to post it so much sooner. It's not that I didn't know what I would write. I've had it all mapped out since the beginning. But I didn't want to write this hastily without contemplation, so I let it stew in my mind for a few days. And then, before you know it, a few more days went by and I still had not written anything. This morning, Sergio along with a few men from our Bible study are at our home having breakfast for a monthly meeting as they go over Al Mohler's book, A Conviction to Lead. I'm at Starbucks and so I thought this would be a great opportunity to finally write what has been on my mind for some of the last week and a half.

In my last entry, I mentioned how we have done little to prepare for baby Calvin practically. That hasn't changed this week. But I mentioned how despite my lack of practical measures taken towards his arrival, I have been vigilant in spiritual preparation.

Firstly, my preparation has taken form in reading. Primarily, reading the Bible is the most beneficial measure of preparedness. Secondly, reading good parenting books by well-learned and Biblically wise people has spoken into my heart as I begin to think about a life of child-rearing.

The second way I'm preparing for Calvin's debut is in prayer.

As sort of a preface, as well as a connecting thought between the two blog posts, though prayer can be seen as a separate point/measure, it actually penetrates into my reading life as well. The reason is that when we're talking about the Bible, it's one thing to read it and it's quite another to read it and allow the Holy Spirit to pierce your soul THROUGH reading it. Reading your Bible for the sake of knowing what it says is nothing beyond a human endeavor. It is independent of divine intervention, and really serves no other purpose beyond an academic one.

To read your Bible for the purpose of allowing it to inform and transform first your heart/affections, then your mind/thought processes, then your life/behaviors is a spiritual endeavor dependent on God the Spirit. It's something that you can't leave up to your own ability. Just try and you'll realize that after a short-lived spiritual "high," all you'll have are vapors and you're running on fumes longing to recapture a subjective and shallow experience in your past. For the Bible to inform your living to the point of change, there must be a complete and vulnerable dependence on the Holy Spirit to complete the task. This is a humbling reality that causes me to come before the throne of grace often to ask for understanding and discernment and rejoice in the fact that God is far more able to provide these than I am to seek them out.

There are three people I'm fervently praying for as I prepare for Calvin. These three people are myself, Sergio, and Calvin. Of course, I'm praying for all who will be in Calvin's life (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, church family, friends), that they would be blessings to him and examples of God's grace to us, but I know that there is a greater need to bring myself, my husband, and my little son up in prayer as I think about the task of raising a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

Firstly, I'm praying for myself.
I'm praying for my own spiritual growth
"But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:14-17

The truths of God are food to the regenerated heart. And, like food, we don't reach a point in this life time where we've had enough to live on for an extended period of time. You are always either eating, digesting, or starving. The Christian life is not stagnant. You are either learning, growing, or regressing. My son is going to see that. And children are more observant than I think adults generally give them credit for. I'm not saying I don't anticipate Calvin will see me sin. I know he will. But I want there to be evidence to his heart of a kind and loving God who is growing ALL his children, including his mommy. (Side note: "Mommy"... whoa... weird).

I'm praying for a faithful commitment to my charge of parenting.
"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Israel was instructed to teach their children diligently, when they sat, when they walked, when they lay down and when they rose. Essentially, taking every opportunity presented to instruct them about their God. I'm not even the parent to a speaking child yet and I already find it easy to dismiss children's inquisitions that I either don't feel like talking about or don't have the answers for. This is so contrary to the principle laid out in Deuteronomy! What a disservice I would do to little Calvin if I didn't look for and seize every opportunity to inform him about Christ, my faith, God's love, and everything else found in the pages of Scripture! No one wants to set their children up for failure. And yet, that's the reality we flirt with when we become haphazard or lackadaisical about diligently teaching and correcting them because of selfish motives.

I'm praying for my own wisdom and patience.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." James 1:2-5 

and

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control..." Galatians 5:22-23

Sergio and I will be parents who spank. I know that spanking is becoming a taboo sin in the eyes of our culture as time goes on. And I partly think that there is good reason for spanking to be viewed as harmful and barbaric. When people vilify spanking, I think that there is a general concept of spanking that they are standing firmly against. The kind of spanking that comes to mind is an enraged mother or father unloading their discontentment or anger on a poor defenseless and confused child who has somehow fallen short of their selfish expectations. And yes, that is horrible! That is NOT the kind of spanking Sergio and I will be doing.

But, our children will know that there are consequences to their actions. Not every time, but sometimes (particularly when their smaller and have less capacity for lectures), those consequences will be spanking. Their spanking will be done in private so as to not shame them in front of others. It will be done as a result of deliberately and sinfully failing to obey Mom or Dad. It will not be done out of anger. If their disobedience particularly angers me, I'll probably have to delay the punishment for a brief period of time to pray, get rid of my pride, and get my heart right before the Lord so that I'm not sinning against Him or my child. Their spanking will be accompanied with an explanation of their offense against the authority God has placed in their lives (Mom and Dad) and consequently, their rebellion against God. It will also be explained that Mom and Dad also have to be obedient to God and other authorities in their lives and that the chastisement is done out of love and a desire for them to learn from mistakes to show that it is better to obey than it is to rebel. Because loving obedience results in blessing. Spanking will be accompanied with affection and it will never be followed by maintained anger or resentment. It will always restore the relationship to the state it was in before the offense was committed because that is its purpose.

When done appropriately, spanking is a wonderful opportunity to display loving correction and ultimately to explain the gospel to little unregenerate hearts that need it so desperately -- regardless of how cute their faces are.

With that said, I'm not so deluded as to believe that I will do this perfectly each time. I'm a sinner. And I know that I will probably spank out of anger sometimes. But I pray to have wisdom in the manner I choose to deal with disobedience, and that I be governed by love and patience for my child, not selfish desires to have my wishes met by my children's behavior, lest I provoke them to anger. If and when I spank wrongly, I pray that I have the humility to seek forgiveness from my children, showing them that I am not above God's standards for life and that I, too, love to be obedient to God.


I feel like this might be enough for one blog post. I had intended to go on to explain how I'm preparing for baby Calvin in how I'm praying for Sergio and for him, but I think I need to save that for another day as well. I apologize! but I didn't realize how much prayer I needed!

So, stay tuned. Next time: how I'm preparing for baby through prayer for Sergio and for Calvin.

Thankful for your partnership in prayer!