He was born in Glendale on Thursday, July 4th at 9:43 am. He weighed 7lbs 15oz and measured at 22 inches long.
I'm in love.
What it means to be a woman, a wife, and a student, from a sinner that's still learning.
Showing posts with label Changing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Changing. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Best Fourth of July Ever
On July 4th, 2013 our son, Calvin Peter Orozco was born.
He was born in Glendale on Thursday, July 4th at 9:43 am. He weighed 7lbs 15oz and measured at 22 inches long.
I'm in love.
He was born in Glendale on Thursday, July 4th at 9:43 am. He weighed 7lbs 15oz and measured at 22 inches long.
I'm in love.
Monday, July 1, 2013
Preparing for Calvin: Part Three; Prayers for the Hearts of my Husband and my Son
Thankfully, now we are logistically prepared for the arrival of our first child. The car seat is in the car, the crib is assembled, and his closet is organized and diapers are handy. See, we're not that negligent. But one day after his due date, Calvin is still comfortably mooching off in my womb. We are eager to meet this little boy, but he seems content to make us wait. I guess he's doing this because he knows I still have not finished my series of blog posts. He's so smart!
Well, in the two previous posts, I've explained the ways in which I'm spiritually, mentally and emotionally preparing for the arrival of my son. The first way was through reading. The second way was through prayer. I explained that I bring myself up to the throne of grace often and pray for my own ability to mother him. Well, I also pray for two other people quite regularly.
The first is for Sergio, my husband and Calvin's dad. I'm sure anyone who reads this blog on a somewhat regular basis already knows how I feel about my husband. (He's FANTASTIC!) And I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but I really do love him and admire his character. He's faithful to me and to our covenant bond of marriage in ways in which many people don't even consider.
When a woman has this type of man by her side, it's easy to eagerly want to do what is in his best interest. This desire to serve him plays out differently from day to day, but the best thing I can do for him is pray for him. I do this often. I pray for his safety, for his health, etc. but today, I'm going to talk about how I'm specifically praying for him as we wait to be given a baby to raise.
Firstly, and most importantly, I'm praying for his relationship with the Lord. Before he can be a faithful husband and father, he must be a faithful follower of Christ. A man's relationship before God governs the quality of his relationship to his family and to anyone else. When his relationship to his Savior is tested, frayed, or weakened, it's only a matter of time before his relationship with his wife and his children will be negatively affected. My primary prayer for my husband is that God's grace sustains his faith and confidence in Christ and that He give Sergio the desire, drive, and diligence to continue to pursue Him as his greatest treasure.
Secondly, I'm praying for Sergio to be given abundant wisdom and clarity as to what is required of him as a husband and as a father. The best way for a man to be a great father is to first be a great husband. Nothing gives a child a better sense of security and love than a mother and a father who are wholly committed to the strength of their marriage. Sergio excels in this area. I pray that God continues to give him the grace needed to excel still more. But there also exists the need for wisdom and clarity in God's calling for fathers. At the end of the day, when Sergio comes before God to give an account for his life, the buck stops with him for the state of his household. He will have to give an account for his performance as the head and leader of the household. That is exclusively the role of the husband/father. It can't be a charge that is neglected or taken lightly and I pray that Sergio remains mindful and consistent. I believe he will.
Lastly, I pray for Sergio's biblical convictions to remain strong and for those convictions to be lived out in every area of his life. It's one thing to communicate convictions to children. It's quite another for them to see you cherish them and live them out with joy. I'm praying for Sergio's courage and boldness in this as our society is quickly changing into one that is hostile to many of the convictions we hold. I do not want our children to see us waver out of fear of man or persecution. I want them to see us love our Lord's standards and I want them to see it especially in their father.
The other person I'm praying for is Calvin. Duh! Firstly, I'm praying for Calvin's level of understanding. I know that as his mother, I'll be in the unique position to speak truth into his life more often than any one else - especially in the early years. I'm praying that God gives him a mind that is eager to listen and learn and understand. I pray that he's a little boy who asks a lot of questions, who loves to read, and who knows how to use his imagination skillfully. I pray that he desires to soak up as much knowledge as possible and for a desire to live out the knowledge and truth he does acquire.
The other way I'm praying for Calvin is in the company he keeps. The Lord was very gracious to me in the friends I made throughout my childhood, adolescence, and now adulthood. Not all were necessarily Christian or came from a Christian home, but he spared me from potentially corrupting elements. Children are impressionable and easily swayed. And rarely do they have the wisdom to discern when they are being influenced negatively. In his childhood, I pray that God gives Calvin friendships that would be edifying and that would point him back to Christ. In adolescence, I pray that God shapes and informs his discernment as he makes friends that will have a significant impact on his development into adulthood.
In my own adulthood, the Lord has blessed me with a wealth of godly women friends of all ages from whom to draw wisdom and insight. They have labored with me in prayer over countless issues, spoke into my life, helped me to see God in areas of my life that I was ignoring or neglecting, and have provided nuggets of truth that I often turn to when I'm in sin. I pray that God gives Calvin an army of godly men to surround him in this same way. Also, I pray that God makes Calvin the kind of friend and the kind of man that would edify, challenge, and sharpen other men as iron sharpens iron for the glory of God and the building up of His church.
Lastly, and most importantly, I'm praying for Calvin's salvation. I realize that this prayer really should've been the first mentioned as it dictates the rest. If Calvin is full of biblical knowledge, and knows how to play the part of the Christian, but has never been redeemed through Christ, it's all hypocrisy and he would just be a pharisee. The reason I saved this for last is because I can instill in him a habit of reading and study. I should and I will. I can also instruct him in how to be a good friend and when he's little, I can have authority over the company he keeps. But when it comes to the regeneration of his heart and the salvation of his soul, I can do nothing but pray. Sure, I can teach him what the bible says on the matter - and I will - and I can point to ways to look for evidence of his salvation - and I will. I can even encourage him to search his own heart and question its motives - and I will. But I cannot ensure there any specific conditions in our home that will guarantee his salvation. Nor will any amount of prayer guarantee his salvation. I can only pray for it and trust that the Lord has already decided the final state of his soul.
In one sense, this can be discouraging. Why bother going through all the trouble of raising up a child in a Christian home with Christian standards if there's no guarantee of his eternal security? Raising up a child in this manner requires sacrifice, denial of yourself, and hard labor. But in another, more real sense, it's a relief. My faithfulness to raise my child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is not primarily to ensure a specific outcome for my child: it is an expression of my love and desire for obedience to the Lord that saved me. That love for Him then secures my confidence in that whether he saves my son or not, He will be glorified for eternity. Therefore, my joy in Him not dependent on circumstance, not even the circumstance of my son's eternal security. His glory - not my children's salvation - is my soul's joy and satisfaction.
So, that's how I'm preparing for the newest addition to our family. This is how I will prepare for all subsequent additions, however many that will be. As for now, we patiently (not always as patiently as I ought) await God's blessing and know with a heavy heart that ultimately, this child (just like everything else we have authority over) is not mine. He is the Lord's and I am just a steward until the Lord sees fit to end my stewardship for his purposes.
Just waiting for the labor pains to begin.... :)
Well, in the two previous posts, I've explained the ways in which I'm spiritually, mentally and emotionally preparing for the arrival of my son. The first way was through reading. The second way was through prayer. I explained that I bring myself up to the throne of grace often and pray for my own ability to mother him. Well, I also pray for two other people quite regularly.
The first is for Sergio, my husband and Calvin's dad. I'm sure anyone who reads this blog on a somewhat regular basis already knows how I feel about my husband. (He's FANTASTIC!) And I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but I really do love him and admire his character. He's faithful to me and to our covenant bond of marriage in ways in which many people don't even consider.
When a woman has this type of man by her side, it's easy to eagerly want to do what is in his best interest. This desire to serve him plays out differently from day to day, but the best thing I can do for him is pray for him. I do this often. I pray for his safety, for his health, etc. but today, I'm going to talk about how I'm specifically praying for him as we wait to be given a baby to raise.
Firstly, and most importantly, I'm praying for his relationship with the Lord. Before he can be a faithful husband and father, he must be a faithful follower of Christ. A man's relationship before God governs the quality of his relationship to his family and to anyone else. When his relationship to his Savior is tested, frayed, or weakened, it's only a matter of time before his relationship with his wife and his children will be negatively affected. My primary prayer for my husband is that God's grace sustains his faith and confidence in Christ and that He give Sergio the desire, drive, and diligence to continue to pursue Him as his greatest treasure.
Secondly, I'm praying for Sergio to be given abundant wisdom and clarity as to what is required of him as a husband and as a father. The best way for a man to be a great father is to first be a great husband. Nothing gives a child a better sense of security and love than a mother and a father who are wholly committed to the strength of their marriage. Sergio excels in this area. I pray that God continues to give him the grace needed to excel still more. But there also exists the need for wisdom and clarity in God's calling for fathers. At the end of the day, when Sergio comes before God to give an account for his life, the buck stops with him for the state of his household. He will have to give an account for his performance as the head and leader of the household. That is exclusively the role of the husband/father. It can't be a charge that is neglected or taken lightly and I pray that Sergio remains mindful and consistent. I believe he will.
Lastly, I pray for Sergio's biblical convictions to remain strong and for those convictions to be lived out in every area of his life. It's one thing to communicate convictions to children. It's quite another for them to see you cherish them and live them out with joy. I'm praying for Sergio's courage and boldness in this as our society is quickly changing into one that is hostile to many of the convictions we hold. I do not want our children to see us waver out of fear of man or persecution. I want them to see us love our Lord's standards and I want them to see it especially in their father.
The other person I'm praying for is Calvin. Duh! Firstly, I'm praying for Calvin's level of understanding. I know that as his mother, I'll be in the unique position to speak truth into his life more often than any one else - especially in the early years. I'm praying that God gives him a mind that is eager to listen and learn and understand. I pray that he's a little boy who asks a lot of questions, who loves to read, and who knows how to use his imagination skillfully. I pray that he desires to soak up as much knowledge as possible and for a desire to live out the knowledge and truth he does acquire.
The other way I'm praying for Calvin is in the company he keeps. The Lord was very gracious to me in the friends I made throughout my childhood, adolescence, and now adulthood. Not all were necessarily Christian or came from a Christian home, but he spared me from potentially corrupting elements. Children are impressionable and easily swayed. And rarely do they have the wisdom to discern when they are being influenced negatively. In his childhood, I pray that God gives Calvin friendships that would be edifying and that would point him back to Christ. In adolescence, I pray that God shapes and informs his discernment as he makes friends that will have a significant impact on his development into adulthood.
In my own adulthood, the Lord has blessed me with a wealth of godly women friends of all ages from whom to draw wisdom and insight. They have labored with me in prayer over countless issues, spoke into my life, helped me to see God in areas of my life that I was ignoring or neglecting, and have provided nuggets of truth that I often turn to when I'm in sin. I pray that God gives Calvin an army of godly men to surround him in this same way. Also, I pray that God makes Calvin the kind of friend and the kind of man that would edify, challenge, and sharpen other men as iron sharpens iron for the glory of God and the building up of His church.
Lastly, and most importantly, I'm praying for Calvin's salvation. I realize that this prayer really should've been the first mentioned as it dictates the rest. If Calvin is full of biblical knowledge, and knows how to play the part of the Christian, but has never been redeemed through Christ, it's all hypocrisy and he would just be a pharisee. The reason I saved this for last is because I can instill in him a habit of reading and study. I should and I will. I can also instruct him in how to be a good friend and when he's little, I can have authority over the company he keeps. But when it comes to the regeneration of his heart and the salvation of his soul, I can do nothing but pray. Sure, I can teach him what the bible says on the matter - and I will - and I can point to ways to look for evidence of his salvation - and I will. I can even encourage him to search his own heart and question its motives - and I will. But I cannot ensure there any specific conditions in our home that will guarantee his salvation. Nor will any amount of prayer guarantee his salvation. I can only pray for it and trust that the Lord has already decided the final state of his soul.
In one sense, this can be discouraging. Why bother going through all the trouble of raising up a child in a Christian home with Christian standards if there's no guarantee of his eternal security? Raising up a child in this manner requires sacrifice, denial of yourself, and hard labor. But in another, more real sense, it's a relief. My faithfulness to raise my child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is not primarily to ensure a specific outcome for my child: it is an expression of my love and desire for obedience to the Lord that saved me. That love for Him then secures my confidence in that whether he saves my son or not, He will be glorified for eternity. Therefore, my joy in Him not dependent on circumstance, not even the circumstance of my son's eternal security. His glory - not my children's salvation - is my soul's joy and satisfaction.
So, that's how I'm preparing for the newest addition to our family. This is how I will prepare for all subsequent additions, however many that will be. As for now, we patiently (not always as patiently as I ought) await God's blessing and know with a heavy heart that ultimately, this child (just like everything else we have authority over) is not mine. He is the Lord's and I am just a steward until the Lord sees fit to end my stewardship for his purposes.
Just waiting for the labor pains to begin.... :)
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Preparing for Calvin Part Two: Prayer for my Own Heart and Soul
Firstly, I know that this post is long overdue. I had intended to post it so much sooner. It's not that I didn't know what I would write. I've had it all mapped out since the beginning. But I didn't want to write this hastily without contemplation, so I let it stew in my mind for a few days. And then, before you know it, a few more days went by and I still had not written anything. This morning, Sergio along with a few men from our Bible study are at our home having breakfast for a monthly meeting as they go over Al Mohler's book, A Conviction to Lead. I'm at Starbucks and so I thought this would be a great opportunity to finally write what has been on my mind for some of the last week and a half.
In my last entry, I mentioned how we have done little to prepare for baby Calvin practically. That hasn't changed this week. But I mentioned how despite my lack of practical measures taken towards his arrival, I have been vigilant in spiritual preparation.
Firstly, my preparation has taken form in reading. Primarily, reading the Bible is the most beneficial measure of preparedness. Secondly, reading good parenting books by well-learned and Biblically wise people has spoken into my heart as I begin to think about a life of child-rearing.
The second way I'm preparing for Calvin's debut is in prayer.
As sort of a preface, as well as a connecting thought between the two blog posts, though prayer can be seen as a separate point/measure, it actually penetrates into my reading life as well. The reason is that when we're talking about the Bible, it's one thing to read it and it's quite another to read it and allow the Holy Spirit to pierce your soul THROUGH reading it. Reading your Bible for the sake of knowing what it says is nothing beyond a human endeavor. It is independent of divine intervention, and really serves no other purpose beyond an academic one.
To read your Bible for the purpose of allowing it to inform and transform first your heart/affections, then your mind/thought processes, then your life/behaviors is a spiritual endeavor dependent on God the Spirit. It's something that you can't leave up to your own ability. Just try and you'll realize that after a short-lived spiritual "high," all you'll have are vapors and you're running on fumes longing to recapture a subjective and shallow experience in your past. For the Bible to inform your living to the point of change, there must be a complete and vulnerable dependence on the Holy Spirit to complete the task. This is a humbling reality that causes me to come before the throne of grace often to ask for understanding and discernment and rejoice in the fact that God is far more able to provide these than I am to seek them out.
There are three people I'm fervently praying for as I prepare for Calvin. These three people are myself, Sergio, and Calvin. Of course, I'm praying for all who will be in Calvin's life (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, church family, friends), that they would be blessings to him and examples of God's grace to us, but I know that there is a greater need to bring myself, my husband, and my little son up in prayer as I think about the task of raising a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
Firstly, I'm praying for myself.
I'm praying for my own spiritual growth
"But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:14-17
The truths of God are food to the regenerated heart. And, like food, we don't reach a point in this life time where we've had enough to live on for an extended period of time. You are always either eating, digesting, or starving. The Christian life is not stagnant. You are either learning, growing, or regressing. My son is going to see that. And children are more observant than I think adults generally give them credit for. I'm not saying I don't anticipate Calvin will see me sin. I know he will. But I want there to be evidence to his heart of a kind and loving God who is growing ALL his children, including his mommy. (Side note: "Mommy"... whoa... weird).
I'm praying for a faithful commitment to my charge of parenting.
"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Israel was instructed to teach their children diligently, when they sat, when they walked, when they lay down and when they rose. Essentially, taking every opportunity presented to instruct them about their God. I'm not even the parent to a speaking child yet and I already find it easy to dismiss children's inquisitions that I either don't feel like talking about or don't have the answers for. This is so contrary to the principle laid out in Deuteronomy! What a disservice I would do to little Calvin if I didn't look for and seize every opportunity to inform him about Christ, my faith, God's love, and everything else found in the pages of Scripture! No one wants to set their children up for failure. And yet, that's the reality we flirt with when we become haphazard or lackadaisical about diligently teaching and correcting them because of selfish motives.
I'm praying for my own wisdom and patience.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." James 1:2-5
and
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control..." Galatians 5:22-23
Sergio and I will be parents who spank. I know that spanking is becoming a taboo sin in the eyes of our culture as time goes on. And I partly think that there is good reason for spanking to be viewed as harmful and barbaric. When people vilify spanking, I think that there is a general concept of spanking that they are standing firmly against. The kind of spanking that comes to mind is an enraged mother or father unloading their discontentment or anger on a poor defenseless and confused child who has somehow fallen short of their selfish expectations. And yes, that is horrible! That is NOT the kind of spanking Sergio and I will be doing.
But, our children will know that there are consequences to their actions. Not every time, but sometimes (particularly when their smaller and have less capacity for lectures), those consequences will be spanking. Their spanking will be done in private so as to not shame them in front of others. It will be done as a result of deliberately and sinfully failing to obey Mom or Dad. It will not be done out of anger. If their disobedience particularly angers me, I'll probably have to delay the punishment for a brief period of time to pray, get rid of my pride, and get my heart right before the Lord so that I'm not sinning against Him or my child. Their spanking will be accompanied with an explanation of their offense against the authority God has placed in their lives (Mom and Dad) and consequently, their rebellion against God. It will also be explained that Mom and Dad also have to be obedient to God and other authorities in their lives and that the chastisement is done out of love and a desire for them to learn from mistakes to show that it is better to obey than it is to rebel. Because loving obedience results in blessing. Spanking will be accompanied with affection and it will never be followed by maintained anger or resentment. It will always restore the relationship to the state it was in before the offense was committed because that is its purpose.
When done appropriately, spanking is a wonderful opportunity to display loving correction and ultimately to explain the gospel to little unregenerate hearts that need it so desperately -- regardless of how cute their faces are.
With that said, I'm not so deluded as to believe that I will do this perfectly each time. I'm a sinner. And I know that I will probably spank out of anger sometimes. But I pray to have wisdom in the manner I choose to deal with disobedience, and that I be governed by love and patience for my child, not selfish desires to have my wishes met by my children's behavior, lest I provoke them to anger. If and when I spank wrongly, I pray that I have the humility to seek forgiveness from my children, showing them that I am not above God's standards for life and that I, too, love to be obedient to God.
I feel like this might be enough for one blog post. I had intended to go on to explain how I'm preparing for baby Calvin in how I'm praying for Sergio and for him, but I think I need to save that for another day as well. I apologize! but I didn't realize how much prayer I needed!
So, stay tuned. Next time: how I'm preparing for baby through prayer for Sergio and for Calvin.
Thankful for your partnership in prayer!
In my last entry, I mentioned how we have done little to prepare for baby Calvin practically. That hasn't changed this week. But I mentioned how despite my lack of practical measures taken towards his arrival, I have been vigilant in spiritual preparation.
Firstly, my preparation has taken form in reading. Primarily, reading the Bible is the most beneficial measure of preparedness. Secondly, reading good parenting books by well-learned and Biblically wise people has spoken into my heart as I begin to think about a life of child-rearing.
The second way I'm preparing for Calvin's debut is in prayer.
As sort of a preface, as well as a connecting thought between the two blog posts, though prayer can be seen as a separate point/measure, it actually penetrates into my reading life as well. The reason is that when we're talking about the Bible, it's one thing to read it and it's quite another to read it and allow the Holy Spirit to pierce your soul THROUGH reading it. Reading your Bible for the sake of knowing what it says is nothing beyond a human endeavor. It is independent of divine intervention, and really serves no other purpose beyond an academic one.
To read your Bible for the purpose of allowing it to inform and transform first your heart/affections, then your mind/thought processes, then your life/behaviors is a spiritual endeavor dependent on God the Spirit. It's something that you can't leave up to your own ability. Just try and you'll realize that after a short-lived spiritual "high," all you'll have are vapors and you're running on fumes longing to recapture a subjective and shallow experience in your past. For the Bible to inform your living to the point of change, there must be a complete and vulnerable dependence on the Holy Spirit to complete the task. This is a humbling reality that causes me to come before the throne of grace often to ask for understanding and discernment and rejoice in the fact that God is far more able to provide these than I am to seek them out.
There are three people I'm fervently praying for as I prepare for Calvin. These three people are myself, Sergio, and Calvin. Of course, I'm praying for all who will be in Calvin's life (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, church family, friends), that they would be blessings to him and examples of God's grace to us, but I know that there is a greater need to bring myself, my husband, and my little son up in prayer as I think about the task of raising a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
Firstly, I'm praying for myself.
I'm praying for my own spiritual growth
"But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:14-17
The truths of God are food to the regenerated heart. And, like food, we don't reach a point in this life time where we've had enough to live on for an extended period of time. You are always either eating, digesting, or starving. The Christian life is not stagnant. You are either learning, growing, or regressing. My son is going to see that. And children are more observant than I think adults generally give them credit for. I'm not saying I don't anticipate Calvin will see me sin. I know he will. But I want there to be evidence to his heart of a kind and loving God who is growing ALL his children, including his mommy. (Side note: "Mommy"... whoa... weird).
I'm praying for a faithful commitment to my charge of parenting.
"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Israel was instructed to teach their children diligently, when they sat, when they walked, when they lay down and when they rose. Essentially, taking every opportunity presented to instruct them about their God. I'm not even the parent to a speaking child yet and I already find it easy to dismiss children's inquisitions that I either don't feel like talking about or don't have the answers for. This is so contrary to the principle laid out in Deuteronomy! What a disservice I would do to little Calvin if I didn't look for and seize every opportunity to inform him about Christ, my faith, God's love, and everything else found in the pages of Scripture! No one wants to set their children up for failure. And yet, that's the reality we flirt with when we become haphazard or lackadaisical about diligently teaching and correcting them because of selfish motives.
I'm praying for my own wisdom and patience.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." James 1:2-5
and
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control..." Galatians 5:22-23
Sergio and I will be parents who spank. I know that spanking is becoming a taboo sin in the eyes of our culture as time goes on. And I partly think that there is good reason for spanking to be viewed as harmful and barbaric. When people vilify spanking, I think that there is a general concept of spanking that they are standing firmly against. The kind of spanking that comes to mind is an enraged mother or father unloading their discontentment or anger on a poor defenseless and confused child who has somehow fallen short of their selfish expectations. And yes, that is horrible! That is NOT the kind of spanking Sergio and I will be doing.
But, our children will know that there are consequences to their actions. Not every time, but sometimes (particularly when their smaller and have less capacity for lectures), those consequences will be spanking. Their spanking will be done in private so as to not shame them in front of others. It will be done as a result of deliberately and sinfully failing to obey Mom or Dad. It will not be done out of anger. If their disobedience particularly angers me, I'll probably have to delay the punishment for a brief period of time to pray, get rid of my pride, and get my heart right before the Lord so that I'm not sinning against Him or my child. Their spanking will be accompanied with an explanation of their offense against the authority God has placed in their lives (Mom and Dad) and consequently, their rebellion against God. It will also be explained that Mom and Dad also have to be obedient to God and other authorities in their lives and that the chastisement is done out of love and a desire for them to learn from mistakes to show that it is better to obey than it is to rebel. Because loving obedience results in blessing. Spanking will be accompanied with affection and it will never be followed by maintained anger or resentment. It will always restore the relationship to the state it was in before the offense was committed because that is its purpose.
When done appropriately, spanking is a wonderful opportunity to display loving correction and ultimately to explain the gospel to little unregenerate hearts that need it so desperately -- regardless of how cute their faces are.
With that said, I'm not so deluded as to believe that I will do this perfectly each time. I'm a sinner. And I know that I will probably spank out of anger sometimes. But I pray to have wisdom in the manner I choose to deal with disobedience, and that I be governed by love and patience for my child, not selfish desires to have my wishes met by my children's behavior, lest I provoke them to anger. If and when I spank wrongly, I pray that I have the humility to seek forgiveness from my children, showing them that I am not above God's standards for life and that I, too, love to be obedient to God.
I feel like this might be enough for one blog post. I had intended to go on to explain how I'm preparing for baby Calvin in how I'm praying for Sergio and for him, but I think I need to save that for another day as well. I apologize! but I didn't realize how much prayer I needed!
So, stay tuned. Next time: how I'm preparing for baby through prayer for Sergio and for Calvin.
Thankful for your partnership in prayer!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Preparing for Calvin Part One
Well, baby Calvin is due at the end of June. That's just over two months from now. Sergio and I are eager to meet this little man. (My eagerness is partly influenced by the fact that I'm not crazy about being pregnant and am quite ready for it to be over).
Sergio and I are not planners. What's more, we're both procrastinators. So when people ask, "What do you still need to get ready?" My response is, "Everything." We have some baby clothes as well as bottles that a couple of families have graciously handed down. We have a small supply of diapers and baby formula ready to go in case he comes early. And the baby registry is mostly finished. But that's it. What more is there? I have no idea. I figure we'll learn as we go. We're experts at winging it.
But there are aspects of child-rearing that I am not leaving to chance. No, I have not read up on colic, sleeping patterns, development markers for growth, diaper rash, baby Einstein videos, or toys to help motor skills. I probably will one day soon, (or not, who knows.) but that's not what is consuming my head space when it comes to preparing for baby Calvin. The two major things I'm doing to be adequately prepared for this little gift is reading and praying.
*I won't be able to exhaust all I want to say in one sitting. So today, I will expound what I'm reading in preparation for baby Calvin and either later today or tomorrow, I will write about what I'm praying in preparation for him.*
As broad as reading and praying are, they each have particular and specific manifestations.
My reading falls into two categories. The Bible and parenting books.
In preparation for Calvin, I'm reading the bible. I want my own knowledge of God to be built up so that my life is an informed and intentional living sacrifice to the God who saved me from my own sin. First Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." I was saved so that my life could be one of good works as a form of worship to God and as a testimony of his goodness to an unbelieving world. Because my husband is a believer, and therefore a fellow heir in Christ, my first evangelistic ministry is to my children. My life ought to be a living example of God's kindness and mercy to them. And my understanding of God informs and enhances my ability to live out this task.
A deeper understanding of God not only motivates my living for him, but it allows me to directly and correctly instruct my children. Though it is essential, it's not enough to assume that my holy living will inform my son about the characteristics of God. I need to be able to communicate those truths to him at every level of his understanding. In order for me to do that, I need to know those truths like the back of my hand. Second Peter 1:3 says, "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence." The Bible contains all truths that "pertain to life and godliness." Have you seen how big the Bible is?! Then you can appreciate the burden and gravitas of that charge!
Well, I'm not just reading the Bible in preparation for baby Calvin. I'm also reading good parenting books. I think it's important to make two distinctions right off the bat here. Firstly, I need to say that no amount of reading outside the Bible, even books by wise Christian authors, can replace or substitute reading to gain knowledge from the Bible. The Bible is the inspired Word of the creator of the universe. All other books, as helpful as they can be and as God-honoring as they may be, are not. I admit that I have a tendency to spend more time reading books by MacArthur, Piper and others because of the ease of readability. But this should not be. And I'm making efforts to combat this. I'd encourage anyone reading this to make more efforts in getting your wisdom and knowledge PRIMARILY from the Word of God and not being content with Christian books that quote the Bible. I promise there is a difference in authority, and there is a difference in how your soul will be influenced.
Secondly, I want to emphasize my word choice. "I'm reading good parenting books." By this, I don't just mean I'm reading Christian parenting books. Unfortunately, in the majority of Christian bookstores, there are few choice of books that have sound doctrine, that exalt God above man, and that have principles rooted in scripture. It's sad. And I really exhort anyone reading to be careful in those stores. Many Christian parenting books and resources today is just secular psychology wrapped in "christian" language that vaguely and superficially address biblical concepts of parenting. A secular psychological concept that is supported with a bible verse taken out of its context is NOT biblical. Be careful.
With that said, getting your hands on a good parenting book is not only helpful, it's wise. As important as it is to get your wisdom primarily from the Bible, God has gifted people with the ability to teach and help communicate the truths found in scripture. Don't be foolish enough to think you have it all figured out. Find reputable, Bible-exalting authors you trust who have proven to be beyond reproach and read what they have to say on different subjects. Make use of the resources available to you. I have read Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp and am currently reading What the Bible Says About Parenting by John MacArthur. Both are blessings to my heart and soul because they are rooted in scripture and I highly recommend both to parents, parents-to-be, or anyone who has children in their care (aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc).
At a later time, I will write about the other way I am preparing for baby Calvin: through fervent and sincere prayer. As important as reading the Word is, it's imperative that we remember that even in our study and diligence, we are dependent on God's grace to understand his truths, and to apply them to our lives.
Cuteness side note: as I was writing this, this little son of mine was squirming and kicking restlessly. I love being a mom. Right now, it's so easy. :)
Sergio and I are not planners. What's more, we're both procrastinators. So when people ask, "What do you still need to get ready?" My response is, "Everything." We have some baby clothes as well as bottles that a couple of families have graciously handed down. We have a small supply of diapers and baby formula ready to go in case he comes early. And the baby registry is mostly finished. But that's it. What more is there? I have no idea. I figure we'll learn as we go. We're experts at winging it.
But there are aspects of child-rearing that I am not leaving to chance. No, I have not read up on colic, sleeping patterns, development markers for growth, diaper rash, baby Einstein videos, or toys to help motor skills. I probably will one day soon, (or not, who knows.) but that's not what is consuming my head space when it comes to preparing for baby Calvin. The two major things I'm doing to be adequately prepared for this little gift is reading and praying.
*I won't be able to exhaust all I want to say in one sitting. So today, I will expound what I'm reading in preparation for baby Calvin and either later today or tomorrow, I will write about what I'm praying in preparation for him.*
As broad as reading and praying are, they each have particular and specific manifestations.
My reading falls into two categories. The Bible and parenting books.
In preparation for Calvin, I'm reading the bible. I want my own knowledge of God to be built up so that my life is an informed and intentional living sacrifice to the God who saved me from my own sin. First Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." I was saved so that my life could be one of good works as a form of worship to God and as a testimony of his goodness to an unbelieving world. Because my husband is a believer, and therefore a fellow heir in Christ, my first evangelistic ministry is to my children. My life ought to be a living example of God's kindness and mercy to them. And my understanding of God informs and enhances my ability to live out this task.
A deeper understanding of God not only motivates my living for him, but it allows me to directly and correctly instruct my children. Though it is essential, it's not enough to assume that my holy living will inform my son about the characteristics of God. I need to be able to communicate those truths to him at every level of his understanding. In order for me to do that, I need to know those truths like the back of my hand. Second Peter 1:3 says, "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence." The Bible contains all truths that "pertain to life and godliness." Have you seen how big the Bible is?! Then you can appreciate the burden and gravitas of that charge!
Well, I'm not just reading the Bible in preparation for baby Calvin. I'm also reading good parenting books. I think it's important to make two distinctions right off the bat here. Firstly, I need to say that no amount of reading outside the Bible, even books by wise Christian authors, can replace or substitute reading to gain knowledge from the Bible. The Bible is the inspired Word of the creator of the universe. All other books, as helpful as they can be and as God-honoring as they may be, are not. I admit that I have a tendency to spend more time reading books by MacArthur, Piper and others because of the ease of readability. But this should not be. And I'm making efforts to combat this. I'd encourage anyone reading this to make more efforts in getting your wisdom and knowledge PRIMARILY from the Word of God and not being content with Christian books that quote the Bible. I promise there is a difference in authority, and there is a difference in how your soul will be influenced.
Secondly, I want to emphasize my word choice. "I'm reading good parenting books." By this, I don't just mean I'm reading Christian parenting books. Unfortunately, in the majority of Christian bookstores, there are few choice of books that have sound doctrine, that exalt God above man, and that have principles rooted in scripture. It's sad. And I really exhort anyone reading to be careful in those stores. Many Christian parenting books and resources today is just secular psychology wrapped in "christian" language that vaguely and superficially address biblical concepts of parenting. A secular psychological concept that is supported with a bible verse taken out of its context is NOT biblical. Be careful.
With that said, getting your hands on a good parenting book is not only helpful, it's wise. As important as it is to get your wisdom primarily from the Bible, God has gifted people with the ability to teach and help communicate the truths found in scripture. Don't be foolish enough to think you have it all figured out. Find reputable, Bible-exalting authors you trust who have proven to be beyond reproach and read what they have to say on different subjects. Make use of the resources available to you. I have read Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp and am currently reading What the Bible Says About Parenting by John MacArthur. Both are blessings to my heart and soul because they are rooted in scripture and I highly recommend both to parents, parents-to-be, or anyone who has children in their care (aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc).
At a later time, I will write about the other way I am preparing for baby Calvin: through fervent and sincere prayer. As important as reading the Word is, it's imperative that we remember that even in our study and diligence, we are dependent on God's grace to understand his truths, and to apply them to our lives.
Cuteness side note: as I was writing this, this little son of mine was squirming and kicking restlessly. I love being a mom. Right now, it's so easy. :)
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Friday, September 14, 2012
Working through 2 Peter
As I said in my last post, I've begun a
study of 2 Peter. As of now, I don't exactly know to what extent I'm
going to share what I'm learning as I study through this book. I
think that for today, I'll point out things about the text that I
thought were particularly interesting or stirring. Maybe after that,
I'll go into some practical implications.
Fair disclaimer, I don't at all claim
to be an expositor, as it were. There are plenty of qualified men for
that. Like I said before, this is part journal, part insight into my
learning process.
The text before me was this (2 Peter
1:1-2):
Simon Peter, a servant and apostle
of Jesus Christ, To those who have obtained a faith of equal standing
with ours by the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ:
May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and
of Jesus our Lord.
What? That's it?
Yep, It sure is.
Things that stood
out
- The ESV says “servant,” but it is more appropriately translated “slave.” So, Simon Peter calls himself a slave before he calls himself an apostle. Keep in mind that in this culture, slaves were considered as lowly and as valuable as animals. They were very simply, tools to be used and owned. Peter considers himself a tool at the disposal of God. So that which is generally demeaning in a social setting is spiritually honorable. To be God's slave is cause for honor.
- This is true because it comes before the title of “apostle” which was undoubtedly honorable. This is a title that few people were able to lay claim to. (And one that no one has a right to claim today). An apostle was a follower and witness of the risen Christ.… and yet, he calls himself a slave first!
In his commentary
to 2 Peter, John MacArthur says this, “Peter, in presenting himself
in these terms sets a pattern for all in spiritual leadership: the
submissive, sacrificial anonymity of a slave combined with the
dignity, significance, and authority of an apostle.”
I thought that was
an interesting juxtaposition.
- In his introduction, he says, “To those who have obtained a faith of equal standing with ours...”Ahh! There's so much in here!
- Firstly, Peter's letter is to the same believers as 1 Peter is.
- Secondly, these same believers “have obtained a faith.” This is also translated as “have received.” Apparently, the verb in the greek that is being translated is “lagchano” which means “to gain by divine will or by the giving of by an allotment.” So, it's not something obtained by human means (effort, fortitude, will, discipline, worthiness, etc). It is a faith that is received by humans, given by God's allotment and sovereign will.
- Thirdly, “a faith” refers to the subjective power of the Christian to believe the gospel for salvation.
- Fourthly it is said to be “of equal standing.” This is likely talking about the equality of the gentiles' ability to believe the gospel for salvation as the Jews' ability to believe the gospel for salvation. Peter, a Jew, writing to gentiles, is making it clear that the faith they have that causes them to believe the gospel which results in their salvation is of equal worthiness to his faith that causes him to believe the gospel which results in his salvation. So, there is no distinction between Jew or gentile. (Also see Galatians 3:28)
- So basically, to those who have (by allotment) received the ability to believe the saving truth of the gospel that is of equal standing to all other who have done so, have done all this “by the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ.”
- Sinners have access to God and eternal life not because of their own goodness/righteousness, but because IN their belief of the gospel (the work of Jesus on the cross and His resurrection), we are given Christ's righteousness. Jesus imputes his righteousness to our credit, erasing our sins (past and future) from our slate, thus making us acceptable to God.
- Another interesting thing to note here: “God and Savior Jesus Christ” are not two different people. “God and Savior” both are descriptive terms of “Jesus Christ.” He is both God AND Savior.
On to
verse two's observations....
- The substance/aftermath of the salvation found in verse one is grace and peace. (Romans 5:1-2).
- Grace (charis) – “God's free, unmerited favor towards sinners, which grants those who believe the gospel complete forgiveness forever through the Lord Jesus Christ.”
- Peace (eirene) - “peace with God and from Him in all life's circumstances I the effect of grace.”
- All of this grace and peace comes from the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
- As our knowledge of God and Jesus grows (which can only be obtained through the objective truths found in scripture) our understanding and appreciation of grace grows and therefore peace abounds.
So
some personal implications? You'll have to draw your own applications, but for me, I've recently (VERY recently... since... yesterday) been thinking through what to do with my time. Do I look for full time work? Do I enjoy some of the freedom Sergio's income is allowing me to read, write, attend classes at church? I actually found myself feeling a bit of anxiety over this last night. It took me about 30-45 minutes to fall asleep because I just kept running different scenarios/for-instances in my head. The reality that you can have either money OR time (never both) was a heavy burden.
I still can't say yet that I've decided for sure, but meditating on this scripture has helped. I can't tell you how easy it is to let yourself run wild with emotions, make rash decisions based solely on circumstance, or consider yourself discontent because your soul is unsettled. The only way to fight this tug to lose your mind with worry and doubt is to remind yourself what is TRUE - not what/how you feel in the moment.
So, last night (and it was a struggle, because all I wanted to do was meditate on the "what ifs") I had to continue to remind myself that:
1. I'm Christ's tool. I was bought with a price and I'm not my own. Hammers don't go running around looking for something to hammer. Its master will move it when it needs. It should be still until then.
2. I am a joint heir with Christ. My salvation is secure in Christ and so I already have the kingdom. Financial circumstances are temporary and never a justification for anxiety in light of this truth!
3. God's grace is sufficient.
4. I should have peace in my heart.
Knowing these things and living them are two different things. But when I remind myself of what I know instead of focusing on what I feel, living them out comes naturally.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Rebranding
Why am I doing any of this? I think
it's good to take a step back from things every once in a while and
reassess why you do the things you do to ensure your heart is still
in the right place (assuming it was in the right place to begin
with). In the last post, I mentioned that I'm thankful for this blog
and a couple of reasons why I'm thankful for it. But I have had to
really take a step back and examine and refocus my purpose and intent
for this blog. Being thankful for something you do and knowing why
you're doing it are two very different things.
After thinking about it for a day or
two, I still found myself questioning for what/whom I was doing this.
But I think the answer was kind of staring me in the face the whole
time. It says at the top of this page, “What it means to be a
woman, a wife, and a student from a sinner that's still learning.”
That's it! (Duh?) Yes, this whole blog is part journaling and part
writing for those interested in my own learning process of life. But
my desire is really for it to be (or become) an encouragement to
people (particularly – but not limited – to women) who either
find themselves in similar stages of life, or can look back to the
time when they have been in these stages and can relate in one way or
another. I pray that the main reason why it can be an encouragement
is because it points to the limitless God who is bigger than our
circumstances, stages, and preconceived notions of reality.
What it means to be a woman, a wife,
and a student are all different, and yet they're all connected by
what it means to be part of the creation of God. Each are manifested
differently, but all serve one purpose. That purpose is the
glorification of that Creator. As a woman, it is my role to make God
look great. As a wife, it is my job to make God look great. As a
student, it is my duty to make God look great. In each role, the same
objective is (ought to be) completed, but it is done so in different
ways.
Sometimes, probably more often that I
ought, I'll write about circumstance. Other times I'll write about
other things like cooking, work, my home, etc. But I would hope that
the bulk of this blog is to point people to Jesus, encourage them
through the stages I'm familiar with (I probably won't write about
motherhood anytime soon), and help them learn about what an amazing
Lord we have and the immeasurable joy that is available only through
a relationship with Him. I do pray that as the experiences of life
give me more insight into areas of which right now I'm unfamiliar, my
motivation for blogging through it all will be the same.
Stay tuned for the first post on my
study of 2 Peter. (It's coming. Soon. No, seriously, check back by
Friday).
Sunday, August 19, 2012
The Orozco's Are Moving!! (For Real this Time!)
Yes. It's true. Sergio and I have found an apartment! We signed the papers this afternoon and will begin the move-in process either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning! Things on our end have been happening. It really does seem like there is a lot and I don't know where to start. I'll just say that it's been of week full of things we hadn't anticipated or expected.
Firstly, many of you know that we have been praying for Sergio as he was unemployed for a month and a half or so. Many of you know this because you were praying along with us. Thank you so much for your prayers. We serve such a great God who withholds no good thing! After many attempts to work at a community college with no responses, we were preparing for the possibility of broadening the job search to include non-teaching jobs. Last week, out of the blue, Sergio was contacted by the chair of the department of his old job and was offered several classes to teach. Yes, Sergio got a great job he didn't even apply for!
That began our apartment search. We took an afternoon to look at different apartments we saw on Craigslist. We didn't expect to find an apartment we liked right off the bat. But we did. It was a one bedroom apartment close to the seminary and my parents. We had pretty much set our minds on that apartment even though we had one more to see. When we got to the last building and walked into the one bedroom, we thought it was OK. Then the manager informed us that there was also a two bedroom unit available that was in our price range. We decided to take a look and lo' and behold: It was perfect for us! It's also perfectly situated in between the seminary and Sergio's work and only about ten minutes from my job.
So basically, within a few days, the Lord provided a fantastic job for Sergio and a fantastic place to live for us.
We move in next week. Sergio begins seminary tomorrow! Glory to our God!
Firstly, many of you know that we have been praying for Sergio as he was unemployed for a month and a half or so. Many of you know this because you were praying along with us. Thank you so much for your prayers. We serve such a great God who withholds no good thing! After many attempts to work at a community college with no responses, we were preparing for the possibility of broadening the job search to include non-teaching jobs. Last week, out of the blue, Sergio was contacted by the chair of the department of his old job and was offered several classes to teach. Yes, Sergio got a great job he didn't even apply for!
That began our apartment search. We took an afternoon to look at different apartments we saw on Craigslist. We didn't expect to find an apartment we liked right off the bat. But we did. It was a one bedroom apartment close to the seminary and my parents. We had pretty much set our minds on that apartment even though we had one more to see. When we got to the last building and walked into the one bedroom, we thought it was OK. Then the manager informed us that there was also a two bedroom unit available that was in our price range. We decided to take a look and lo' and behold: It was perfect for us! It's also perfectly situated in between the seminary and Sergio's work and only about ten minutes from my job.
So basically, within a few days, the Lord provided a fantastic job for Sergio and a fantastic place to live for us.
We move in next week. Sergio begins seminary tomorrow! Glory to our God!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
The Orozco's Are Moving!!!
.... Eventually.
.... Maybe.
.... Somewhere.
.... Who knows...
My husband, Sergio, and I have lived with my in-laws for the last 11 months. It has been a HUGE blessing in so many ways. A car loan paid off, a vacation taken, and a modest savings account later, we're beginning to seriously entertain the idea of getting out there on our own again. We have seen a few apartments that we really like, and are considering some other, more exciting options as well. All that is left to do is to come to a conviction and act on it. To do so, a lot of prayer on our parts will have to take place. I'm so thankful that we serve a gracious God who, even in our uncertainty, knows His will for us and will ensure our good will come out of it. When we're really living in that truth (not just believing it, but living IN it), it really does make for a worry-free, anxiety-free life. Pride and expectation can't reside in this truth and so they have to be checked at the door. Therein lies the challenge.
I realize I haven't blogged in a while. (Shame on me). Unfortunately, this post has to be short. But I did want to update those who are interested. More posts to come in the not-distant future.
.... Maybe.
.... Somewhere.
.... Who knows...
My husband, Sergio, and I have lived with my in-laws for the last 11 months. It has been a HUGE blessing in so many ways. A car loan paid off, a vacation taken, and a modest savings account later, we're beginning to seriously entertain the idea of getting out there on our own again. We have seen a few apartments that we really like, and are considering some other, more exciting options as well. All that is left to do is to come to a conviction and act on it. To do so, a lot of prayer on our parts will have to take place. I'm so thankful that we serve a gracious God who, even in our uncertainty, knows His will for us and will ensure our good will come out of it. When we're really living in that truth (not just believing it, but living IN it), it really does make for a worry-free, anxiety-free life. Pride and expectation can't reside in this truth and so they have to be checked at the door. Therein lies the challenge.
I realize I haven't blogged in a while. (Shame on me). Unfortunately, this post has to be short. But I did want to update those who are interested. More posts to come in the not-distant future.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Life is Happening
Things are happening. And yet, at the same time, they aren't. Let me explain.
My time at Cal State Northridge is wrapping up. I have to turn in an essay tomorrow, and take my last final on Friday morning. After Friday, my time as a Matador will be complete. And after the first week of July, when I finish my summer class at College of the Canyons, my degree will be complete.
Sergio will finish up taking his comps (hopefully) by the end of May and (probably) by the end of June. So, by the beginning of July, he will have his Masters in Physics, and I will have my Bachelors in English Literature. We will be done with that part of our lives!
Sergio and I got married when he started graduate school and when I was a sophomore in college. We've always been in school together thus far into our marriage. This is a new stage. This new stage is exciting, but at the same time, I find myself tempted to be anxious.
I have two jobs. One is at 24 Hour Fitness working at the front desk. The other is at Los Angeles City College in the writing center. My job at LACC ends with the school semester and depends on my full-time enrollment at a college or university. This job is also the major source of my income. At the end of their semester (which is in about two weeks) I will no longer have a job here and, unless I go to grad school, will not be able to gain employment from them again.
Sergio's current job at CSUN also ends with the school semester. (This job is the major source of our combined income). He will receive his last pay check in the month of July or August, I believe. Though he'll have some extra income in the month of June because he agreed to lecture a short summer class, he does not have any job security after that.
I am conflicted with the decision of what to do with myself. Honestly, I was hoping that I would be expecting by now so that the decision would be easy. But that is obviously not the Lord's plan for me yet. If I go to grad school, I'd have some job security in the coming semester. However, going to grad school would entail taking out a student loan, which I'm not sure I want to do.
I suppose this is every college grad's dilemma. I was actually getting overwhelmed by the uncertainty last week and earlier this week. I was feeling trapped and anxious. I wanted to cast my cares onto the Lord, but I started thinking, "Well, what if I get to the deadline for a decision regarding grad school and I still don't know the Lord's will for us yet?" I was letting that question consume me.
After some prayer and meditation on scripture, I realized that I don't need all the answers yet. If I really "cast my cares" on Him, I can't take them back. They're no longer mine. So what should I let consume my thoughts? Well, for starters, the things I know are demanding my attention now. My relationship with God, my husband, my final assignments, my home space, my budget, my health. These are plenty to keep my mind occupied. I'll continue to keep those other things in prayer, but they can't consume my meditations, or occupy space in my heart. They can't produce anxiety because they have been placed into the sovereignty of the Creator. That's where they were the whole time, I just kept wanting to take them from him. Anxiety is really just a produce of a lack of humility when you really think about it.
I would greatly appreciate your prayers regarding everything I've just mentioned. Things are uncertain, but God is greater than all of them. :)
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
My Idols
There are a little more than two weeks of school left in this semester. My last official day is May 18th. A few weeks ago, I met with my academic adviser and as it turns out [BIG SIGH] I am one unit short of graduating. Yep. One. I wasn't as discouraged by this as some might think. Is it inconvenient? Oh yes. Does it create more work for me? Of course! Am I bitter? No, not really. Hopefully, I will be able to take a summer class at a local community college to fulfill the unit. And then I'll be done.
I'm really happy that it comes really naturally for me to make plans and always attach, "Lord willing," at the end of them. If I look back at all the plans I made for finishing the school year, I'm almost certain I mostly said some variation of "If the Lord wills," etc. Sometimes, unfortunately, it can be a throw-away phrase that deludes me into thinking I'm somehow more spiritual for having said it. But it truly does serve as a good reminder of what my hope is.
My hope (that which I set my eyes on, live my life for, and long for wholeheartedly) are not any of the following things (although, how easy it is to make them such!):
A degree
A job
A family
A house
My husband
A life style
A car
A title
An ability
A body image
I do not live for comfort, prestige, recognition, ease, stability, security.
I ought not to concern myself with social approval, the balance in my checking account, the books on my walls, the phone in my pocket, the friends I have or don't have,
These, once focus is on them and off God, are idols.
My education is an idol.
My job is an idol.
My abilities are idols.
My family is an idol.
My husband is an idol.
My hopes for the future are idols.
If I am living for them.
I am an idol. If I'm living for myself. I am my biggest danger.
What good does it do a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Nothing. All I've amassed is worth nothing.
My hope, my rest, my peace and joy are on the Lord's will.
Who cares if I'm loving life because everything is going my way. There are no bragging rights in loving life because it's easy. How does that make me better?
I care if I'm loving my life when nothing is going my way.
If my whole world can fall apart, if I can lose my job, my home, my car, my friends, my lifestyle, my husband, my family, my self-worth, my health, a limb, everything, I want to be able to maintain my joy.
That's a tall order. God has been kind to me so far. He has not asked me to forfeit anything that would be terribly difficult. I don't know that He ever will. But it ought not matter.
I'm really happy that it comes really naturally for me to make plans and always attach, "Lord willing," at the end of them. If I look back at all the plans I made for finishing the school year, I'm almost certain I mostly said some variation of "If the Lord wills," etc. Sometimes, unfortunately, it can be a throw-away phrase that deludes me into thinking I'm somehow more spiritual for having said it. But it truly does serve as a good reminder of what my hope is.
My hope (that which I set my eyes on, live my life for, and long for wholeheartedly) are not any of the following things (although, how easy it is to make them such!):
A degree
A job
A family
A house
My husband
A life style
A car
A title
An ability
A body image
I do not live for comfort, prestige, recognition, ease, stability, security.
I ought not to concern myself with social approval, the balance in my checking account, the books on my walls, the phone in my pocket, the friends I have or don't have,
These, once focus is on them and off God, are idols.
My education is an idol.
My job is an idol.
My abilities are idols.
My family is an idol.
My husband is an idol.
My hopes for the future are idols.
If I am living for them.
I am an idol. If I'm living for myself. I am my biggest danger.
What good does it do a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Nothing. All I've amassed is worth nothing.
My hope, my rest, my peace and joy are on the Lord's will.
Who cares if I'm loving life because everything is going my way. There are no bragging rights in loving life because it's easy. How does that make me better?
I care if I'm loving my life when nothing is going my way.
If my whole world can fall apart, if I can lose my job, my home, my car, my friends, my lifestyle, my husband, my family, my self-worth, my health, a limb, everything, I want to be able to maintain my joy.
That's a tall order. God has been kind to me so far. He has not asked me to forfeit anything that would be terribly difficult. I don't know that He ever will. But it ought not matter.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
15 in 3
I often say that the little blessings in life are evidences of God's love for his creation. If it weren't enough to send His son to die on our behalves that we may have a relationship with Him, He gave us husbands, wives, friends, family, puppies, flowers, sunshine, rain, babies, coffee, music, sunsets, mountains, nap times, dancing, cute dresses, sex, fabric softener, literature, art, a perfectly executed poached egg, comedy, ice cream, fire, rainbows, landscapes, expendable organs - I'm looking at you, appendix, cute woodland creatures and the hawks that hunt them, anything my grandmother cooks, aurora borealis, and chocolate!
None of which is deserved or earned. All of which I am thankful for.
Currently, I'm thankful for the ability to move. Physical movement. If one sin warrants immediate damnation, I can only think of few greater evidences of grace than the permission to keep roaming the earth. And yet, even with this knowledge, we often spend our free time sitting idle - and usually in front of a box from which we demand constant entertainment. I'm not saying entertainment is bad. Frankly, I find it amusing and... well... entertaining. The problem is when we start finding our refuge in it, when we start needing it, and when we can't think of or find anything else to provide a sense of release from the day to day stresses. But that was a tangent.
Back to moving!
I haven't always liked exercising. My weight fluctuated a lot when I was a child and so I often found exercising difficult and uncomfortable. Also, exercise always meant only one thing: running. And I hated running. I still hate running. (Notice running wasn't on my list of God's graces - I know it is, but.... still). However, over the years, exercise has really grown on me. I didn't do it nearly as often as I should have, but for the better part of the last 5 years, I've had a gym membership that did get used.
Since I started working at the gym, I've been hitting it more often than ever before (and I love it!), but things very easily distract me and deter me from it for extended periods of time. Since I started working there, I've lost - and kept off - about 13 pounds, but most of it was done within the first 3 months of my employment.
Well, I find myself in a very interesting place this year. I would like very much to have a baby sometime in the near future. Yes I am aware that it is a long and drawn out process (I've been told about 9 months). So I guess it's more appropriate to say that I would like to entertain (there's that word again) the idea of getting pregnant sometime in the near future.
The problem is, I'm still about ten pounds heavier than I ought to be. Pregnancy takes a toll on a woman's body. A toll that my body can't quite afford yet. So, I've set a goal for myself that I think is reasonable and not too driven by vanity. The goal is to lose fifteen pounds in three months. That's a little over a pound a week, which is super manageable and healthy. I want to do this so that when I do have a bun in the oven, my body is in a strong and healthy place for the well-being of the little one as well as my own process and recovery.
Why am I telling you this? I may not even know you! The reason I'm putting it out there is simple: accountability. I often set lofty unattainable goals for myself, tell no one, and then accomplish nothing. I figure that there are two problems here. The first is that it's silly to train for a marathon in 2 months when you don't run. (I never really set that goal for myself, but the ones I have are just as foolish). The second is that no one knew about my goals, so I never really had to face anything if (and when) they weren't accomplished. This way, the blogosphere knows what I've committed myself to, and I hope everyone that may come across this helps keep me accountable over the next several weeks. If you see me around, ask me how my workouts are going. I won't feel offended, I promise. I hope you don't feel offended when I tell you to mind your own business.
KIDDING! :)
None of which is deserved or earned. All of which I am thankful for.
Currently, I'm thankful for the ability to move. Physical movement. If one sin warrants immediate damnation, I can only think of few greater evidences of grace than the permission to keep roaming the earth. And yet, even with this knowledge, we often spend our free time sitting idle - and usually in front of a box from which we demand constant entertainment. I'm not saying entertainment is bad. Frankly, I find it amusing and... well... entertaining. The problem is when we start finding our refuge in it, when we start needing it, and when we can't think of or find anything else to provide a sense of release from the day to day stresses. But that was a tangent.
Back to moving!
I haven't always liked exercising. My weight fluctuated a lot when I was a child and so I often found exercising difficult and uncomfortable. Also, exercise always meant only one thing: running. And I hated running. I still hate running. (Notice running wasn't on my list of God's graces - I know it is, but.... still). However, over the years, exercise has really grown on me. I didn't do it nearly as often as I should have, but for the better part of the last 5 years, I've had a gym membership that did get used.
Since I started working at the gym, I've been hitting it more often than ever before (and I love it!), but things very easily distract me and deter me from it for extended periods of time. Since I started working there, I've lost - and kept off - about 13 pounds, but most of it was done within the first 3 months of my employment.
Well, I find myself in a very interesting place this year. I would like very much to have a baby sometime in the near future. Yes I am aware that it is a long and drawn out process (I've been told about 9 months). So I guess it's more appropriate to say that I would like to entertain (there's that word again) the idea of getting pregnant sometime in the near future.
The problem is, I'm still about ten pounds heavier than I ought to be. Pregnancy takes a toll on a woman's body. A toll that my body can't quite afford yet. So, I've set a goal for myself that I think is reasonable and not too driven by vanity. The goal is to lose fifteen pounds in three months. That's a little over a pound a week, which is super manageable and healthy. I want to do this so that when I do have a bun in the oven, my body is in a strong and healthy place for the well-being of the little one as well as my own process and recovery.
Why am I telling you this? I may not even know you! The reason I'm putting it out there is simple: accountability. I often set lofty unattainable goals for myself, tell no one, and then accomplish nothing. I figure that there are two problems here. The first is that it's silly to train for a marathon in 2 months when you don't run. (I never really set that goal for myself, but the ones I have are just as foolish). The second is that no one knew about my goals, so I never really had to face anything if (and when) they weren't accomplished. This way, the blogosphere knows what I've committed myself to, and I hope everyone that may come across this helps keep me accountable over the next several weeks. If you see me around, ask me how my workouts are going. I won't feel offended, I promise. I hope you don't feel offended when I tell you to mind your own business.
KIDDING! :)
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Valentine's Day 2012
So I know that in my last post, I said I was my own Valentine this year. When we woke up on Tuesday morning, Sergio and I had no plans of doing anything special or out of the ordinary for Valentine's Day.
Last year, we had a very romantic evening in. He got ready at his parent's house, I got ready at our apartment and gussied up for him. I actually wore my wedding dress! (The one I wore for our reception, not the gown - can you imagine!?) I prepared a delicious meal for us, set the mood in our entire apartment just right, etc. It was great.
This year, however, since we're at his parent's house, we were both working all day, and really didn't feel like having a night out on the town, we were content to embrace the day as just another day. Besides, Valentine's Day is corny and insignificant, right?
Well, yes and no (the classic English major answer to all of life's tough questions). Our culture's interpretation of it, for the most part, is definitely shallow. It's riddled with obligatory expectations, selfish motivations, and vacuous understandings of love. And yet, when we're given a day that at face value celebrates love, albeit for the purpose of consumerism, for those of us who do have a complete understanding of love, why not eliminate the fluff and the filth and embrace a celebration of love?
So, on a whim, on my way home I stopped at Lark bakery and purchased four cupcakes. I also stopped at Trader Joe's for a super quick, cheater meal. That's right, frozen food. (Enter suspenseful organ music here). When Sergio came home, we went outside, turned on the fire pit, and enjoyed a simple, super fast dinner by firelight. It was a far cry from last year's effort in preparation, but it was just as special to me!
We got to step away from chores a house can be decorated with, and just enjoyed one another. He told me about his day, and I told him about mine. We told each other what the Lord is teaching us in this season of life and what we look forward to in the next. We prayed with one another and expressed our thankfulness to God for this temporary marriage.
Right now, very little after the month of May is planned. We have no idea where we'll be or what we'll be doing. What we do know is that we'll have our Lord, and we'll have each other. I often call Sergio my companion on life's journey. I don't think I've ever felt the weight of those words more than I do now. Sometimes, when you're on a trip, you know exactly where you're going. But other times, you're somewhere unfamiliar and you rely heavily on trust. Well, I trust my husband, the driver. He's trusting the road signs he's given on the way as God reveals His will to us according to His plan and timing. Getting the opportunity to stop for a minute or two and just refresh that marriage relationship is like a rest stop to refuel before you hit the road again. (That was the last road trip - marriage analogy, I promise).
So, all in all, great Valentine's Day. Another great year. Same great husband. Same great, great God.
P.S. The cupcakes were out of this world! ;)
Last year, we had a very romantic evening in. He got ready at his parent's house, I got ready at our apartment and gussied up for him. I actually wore my wedding dress! (The one I wore for our reception, not the gown - can you imagine!?) I prepared a delicious meal for us, set the mood in our entire apartment just right, etc. It was great.
This year, however, since we're at his parent's house, we were both working all day, and really didn't feel like having a night out on the town, we were content to embrace the day as just another day. Besides, Valentine's Day is corny and insignificant, right?
Well, yes and no (the classic English major answer to all of life's tough questions). Our culture's interpretation of it, for the most part, is definitely shallow. It's riddled with obligatory expectations, selfish motivations, and vacuous understandings of love. And yet, when we're given a day that at face value celebrates love, albeit for the purpose of consumerism, for those of us who do have a complete understanding of love, why not eliminate the fluff and the filth and embrace a celebration of love?
So, on a whim, on my way home I stopped at Lark bakery and purchased four cupcakes. I also stopped at Trader Joe's for a super quick, cheater meal. That's right, frozen food. (Enter suspenseful organ music here). When Sergio came home, we went outside, turned on the fire pit, and enjoyed a simple, super fast dinner by firelight. It was a far cry from last year's effort in preparation, but it was just as special to me!
We got to step away from chores a house can be decorated with, and just enjoyed one another. He told me about his day, and I told him about mine. We told each other what the Lord is teaching us in this season of life and what we look forward to in the next. We prayed with one another and expressed our thankfulness to God for this temporary marriage.
Right now, very little after the month of May is planned. We have no idea where we'll be or what we'll be doing. What we do know is that we'll have our Lord, and we'll have each other. I often call Sergio my companion on life's journey. I don't think I've ever felt the weight of those words more than I do now. Sometimes, when you're on a trip, you know exactly where you're going. But other times, you're somewhere unfamiliar and you rely heavily on trust. Well, I trust my husband, the driver. He's trusting the road signs he's given on the way as God reveals His will to us according to His plan and timing. Getting the opportunity to stop for a minute or two and just refresh that marriage relationship is like a rest stop to refuel before you hit the road again. (That was the last road trip - marriage analogy, I promise).
So, all in all, great Valentine's Day. Another great year. Same great husband. Same great, great God.
P.S. The cupcakes were out of this world! ;)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Precious Jesus
It has been a bit since I have last posted. Not a whole lot has been going on lately. I'm finishing up the second to last week before school begins again. I'm more or less completely settled in my new home. And I've begun a new job.
Several weeks ago, I applied for a front desk position at 24 Hour Fitness. I began working last week. Because of my school schedule this semester, I knew that I wouldn't be able to work more than two shifts at the writing center and so I saw that I needed work to supplement the decreased hours. Well, I got that job and they gave me more shifts than I thought I could handle. I am amazed by God's sovereignty and provision. I learned a few days ago that because of California budget issues, jobs as student tutors will no longer be funded at Los Angeles City College. As disappointing as this is, to see the Lord's hand in providing enough work for me before I even knew I needed it has been an encouragement beyond words. This is just more evidence of God's faithfulness through Christ. I'm reminded of the lyrics of a familiar hymn
'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
And to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
And to know "Thus says the Lord!"
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er.
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more!
Like I said earlier, school starts soon. August 29th to be exact. I'm trying to enjoy the time left, but am finding that in this pursuit, it's so easy to give into laziness. Blogging is a good way to combat this. It gives me something to do. It gives me opportunity to exercise my writing muscles (which will come in handy in a few weeks). And it gives me things to think about or study.
Just as a few weeks ago, I had the topic of legalism on my mind, I have had a new topic on my mind: the innocence of Satan. By this, I mean that I feel like Satan, though more guilty than measurable by any human standards, gets blamed for more than he actually does. Instead of taking personal responsibility for our own depravity and sinfulness, many believers like to pull out the "enemy" card and use the devil as a scapegoat for our own natural proclivity to love our sin. "The enemy is the reason my son has rejected Christ," to me, seems to be heard more often than, "My son, by nature, is an unrepentant lover of his sin, and the wisdom of God is foolishness to him." So hopefully by the end of the week, that blog post will be up.
I think that I have pretty much adjusted to our new home. It was really never difficult. I love my in-laws so much and they have been so gracious to Sergio and myself. They have gone out of their way to make sure we were comfortable and afforded every convenience. I love our dog, Paxton.
I think most of all, I love seeing Sergio with his little sisters or niece. He is so good with the girls, it fills me with joy.
This is Cindy. The young female version of Sergio with twice his humor.
He's going to be such a great dad one day. I am so blessed! :)
Several weeks ago, I applied for a front desk position at 24 Hour Fitness. I began working last week. Because of my school schedule this semester, I knew that I wouldn't be able to work more than two shifts at the writing center and so I saw that I needed work to supplement the decreased hours. Well, I got that job and they gave me more shifts than I thought I could handle. I am amazed by God's sovereignty and provision. I learned a few days ago that because of California budget issues, jobs as student tutors will no longer be funded at Los Angeles City College. As disappointing as this is, to see the Lord's hand in providing enough work for me before I even knew I needed it has been an encouragement beyond words. This is just more evidence of God's faithfulness through Christ. I'm reminded of the lyrics of a familiar hymn
'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
And to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
And to know "Thus says the Lord!"
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er.
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more!
Like I said earlier, school starts soon. August 29th to be exact. I'm trying to enjoy the time left, but am finding that in this pursuit, it's so easy to give into laziness. Blogging is a good way to combat this. It gives me something to do. It gives me opportunity to exercise my writing muscles (which will come in handy in a few weeks). And it gives me things to think about or study.
Just as a few weeks ago, I had the topic of legalism on my mind, I have had a new topic on my mind: the innocence of Satan. By this, I mean that I feel like Satan, though more guilty than measurable by any human standards, gets blamed for more than he actually does. Instead of taking personal responsibility for our own depravity and sinfulness, many believers like to pull out the "enemy" card and use the devil as a scapegoat for our own natural proclivity to love our sin. "The enemy is the reason my son has rejected Christ," to me, seems to be heard more often than, "My son, by nature, is an unrepentant lover of his sin, and the wisdom of God is foolishness to him." So hopefully by the end of the week, that blog post will be up.
I think that I have pretty much adjusted to our new home. It was really never difficult. I love my in-laws so much and they have been so gracious to Sergio and myself. They have gone out of their way to make sure we were comfortable and afforded every convenience. I love our dog, Paxton.
I think most of all, I love seeing Sergio with his little sisters or niece. He is so good with the girls, it fills me with joy.
This is Cindy. The young female version of Sergio with twice his humor.
He's going to be such a great dad one day. I am so blessed! :)
Monday, July 11, 2011
And the Beat Goes On
This has been quite a week. Many of you already know. On Thursday, my grandfather departed to be with the Lord. The only word I had swimming around my mind was, "Gain!" What a gain it was for him! When thinking about the fact that he got saved right before his mind lost all lucidity only reaffirmed the knowledge that his salvation was as miraculous and undeserving as my own. There was nothing he could offer God in that state. There was nothing I could offer Him when He saved me. In the end, all the glory goes to Him.
Last week, I mentioned an upcoming move for the Orozco's but haven't been able to elaborate on that. Well, with the desire to give more to the church, and begin really building our savings while getting rid of some pesky debt, Sergio and I have decided to move into his parent's house for six months to a year. We plan on being completely moved in two to three weeks. I feel really blessed to have been able to live with Sergio in our humble apartment for this last year and a half. I think that being on our own has been significant in building and fortifying our marriage (especially the early months). But as our marriage grows, our desire to grow our family grows along with us. While neither one of us believes it necessary to have a substantial amount of money before having kids (we know that the Lord provides), we think it would be wise to take advantage of this time we've been allotted to build considerable resources and get rid of some debt quicker than we would otherwise have been able to do along with giving considerably more to the church.
Trying to pack up our lives in two weeks is going to be difficult. Not all of our things are going with us so this entails discerning what we can/need to bring with us and what needs to be kept at my parents' house in my old room. This also means very limited resources. I have to keep my fridge very sparsely stocked and I need to begin packing our cookware and plates and such. So far, we've been very blessed as my parents or Sergio's parents have been having us over for dinner. And tomorrow a family from our church is having us over. We are so thankful for all the relationships we've been blessed with and excited for the new stage of our lives as we sacrifice a few things for the ability to honor the Lord in prudence with our funds.
Last week, I mentioned an upcoming move for the Orozco's but haven't been able to elaborate on that. Well, with the desire to give more to the church, and begin really building our savings while getting rid of some pesky debt, Sergio and I have decided to move into his parent's house for six months to a year. We plan on being completely moved in two to three weeks. I feel really blessed to have been able to live with Sergio in our humble apartment for this last year and a half. I think that being on our own has been significant in building and fortifying our marriage (especially the early months). But as our marriage grows, our desire to grow our family grows along with us. While neither one of us believes it necessary to have a substantial amount of money before having kids (we know that the Lord provides), we think it would be wise to take advantage of this time we've been allotted to build considerable resources and get rid of some debt quicker than we would otherwise have been able to do along with giving considerably more to the church.
Trying to pack up our lives in two weeks is going to be difficult. Not all of our things are going with us so this entails discerning what we can/need to bring with us and what needs to be kept at my parents' house in my old room. This also means very limited resources. I have to keep my fridge very sparsely stocked and I need to begin packing our cookware and plates and such. So far, we've been very blessed as my parents or Sergio's parents have been having us over for dinner. And tomorrow a family from our church is having us over. We are so thankful for all the relationships we've been blessed with and excited for the new stage of our lives as we sacrifice a few things for the ability to honor the Lord in prudence with our funds.
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