The Beauty of God's Novel: A Book Review of N.D. Wilson's Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl

On special occasions, most women wear lipstick. Speaking from a purely objective and rational perspective, this makes no sense. Painted lips serve no practical purpose. And yet, when our anniversary rolls around year after year, we pull out our most inviting shade. We do it in the name of beauty. We do it for an audience of one. And we do it to compel our husbands to delight in us. N.D. Wilson argues that all of creation exists for the same reason painted lips do: to compel its audience to delight. However, we are not the audience for which creation exists. We are part of the creation. We, along with super novas, spiders, snowflakes and volcanoes, exist for God. In his book, Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl, N.D. Wilson explores the implications of a truth we readily accept, but probably rarely meditate on: that all of creation (including us) is the spoken word of God. He examines this doctrine in light of God's creative power and purpose. We are His novel. We are his tapestry. We are His characters whose purpose is to act out His grand narrative. We exist for an audience of One. It is all for the pleasure of the singular Triune God.

Each chapter and section of the book has an overarching theme that either examines the implications of his thesis or gives insight into how he arrived at his thesis. The themes include the problem of evil,assumptions about beauty, heaven and hell,the human need to explain our existence, the theory of natural selection in evolution, the authority of God, the incarnation of Christ, and the gospel. For many of these, he employs a helpful and comical technique. He boils down the seminal work of some philosophical giant and tests the strength of the philosopher's conclusion. This summation is usually followed by a graciously witty dismissal that cleverly highlights the theory's shortcomings or even its practical absurdities. In my opinion, this tactic of his allows his levity to shine. In listing several philosophers, Wilson mentions Hume: “David Hume, the Scot (knowingly) declared God and knowledge impossible without any apparent sense of irony.” With his treatment of themes like the incarnation and the gospel, the reader is left with a fresh perspective arrived at through the lens of Wilson's thesis and new beauty in old truths is exposed.

Appropriate to his premise, the style of this book is very poetic. Some might find his style off-putting. The entire work is an artistic endeavor and that is made clear from the very beginning. Sometimes, sentences feel choppy and thoughts don't always have the fluidity we've come to expect from Christian books. But considering the purpose of the book is to get its readers to appreciate the whole of creation as God's artistry, the style is fitting. If his thesis interests you in the slightest, don't let the unconventional style deter you from immersing yourself in the book. If the idea of poetic Christian prose excites you, that is essentially what this book offers.

Wilson's greatest strength besides the originality of his topic and approach is his command of language. Wilson has an ability to demand wonder and amazement from his reader as he explores the profound implications of his thesis. His use of imagery, analogy and wit to get an idea across is unparalleled. It should be noted that at times, Wilson's word choice can be crude and even a little shocking. (This is probably why it isn't available in the church bookstore). Approach the book with caution as it does contain strong – potentially offensive – language and consider yourself warned. If you feel that flow, subject matter, tone, and poetic license can lend leniency, be forgiving. Please don't misunderstand me. His choice to employ strong language is certainly not gratuitous. Nor does he chose to do so often. But it does occur.

There are two things a reader should be aware of as they read this book. Wilson's theology doesn't line up perfectly with what our husbands are being taught. The discrepancies don't affect the effectiveness of the book, but there are small moments that they do appear. This is particularly true eschatologically and in his chapter on hell. So, take that with a grain of salt. Secondly, and really just a personal annoyance, is Wilson's treatment of C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce. It would behoove the reader to know that The Great Divorce is a work of fiction. This is something Wilson neglects to mention and, to some, may result in Lewis seeming like a theological loon. But this grievance is very insignificant to the whole of the book. Some will buy Notes and wonder why I so highly praised it. It won't be everyone's cup of tea. But you'd still have to honestly admit that it's not like anything else you've ever read. All in all, I'd highly recommend this book, particularly to the young adult believer who is feeling beaten up by his/her Philosophy 101 class. If nothing else, it's a fun read. Wilson's competence as a story teller is a rare find and he does have great stories to tell in this book. Wilson has also authored a number of adventurous chapter books for children. Or adults who like children's literature. 

Preparing for Calvin Part One

Well, baby Calvin is due at the end of June. That's just over two months from now. Sergio and I are eager to meet this little man. (My eagerness is partly influenced by the fact that I'm not crazy about being pregnant and am quite ready for it to be over).

Sergio and I are not planners. What's more, we're both procrastinators. So when people ask, "What do you still need to get ready?" My response is, "Everything." We have some baby clothes as well as bottles that a couple of families have graciously handed down. We have a small supply of diapers and baby formula ready to go in case he comes early. And the baby registry is mostly finished. But that's it. What more is there? I have no idea. I figure we'll learn as we go. We're experts at winging it.

But there are aspects of child-rearing that I am not leaving to chance. No, I have not read up on colic, sleeping patterns, development markers for growth, diaper rash, baby Einstein videos, or toys to help motor skills. I probably will one day soon, (or not, who knows.) but that's not what is consuming my head space when it comes to preparing for baby Calvin. The two major things I'm doing to be adequately prepared for this little gift is reading and praying.

*I won't be able to exhaust all I want to say in one sitting. So today, I will expound what I'm reading in preparation for baby Calvin and either later today or tomorrow, I will write about what I'm praying in preparation for him.*

As broad as reading and praying are, they each have particular and specific manifestations.

My reading falls into two categories. The Bible and parenting books.

In preparation for Calvin, I'm reading the bible. I want my own knowledge of God to be built up so that my life is an informed and intentional living sacrifice to the God who saved me from my own sin. First Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." I was saved so that my life could be one of good works as a form of worship to God and as a testimony of his goodness to an unbelieving world. Because my husband is a believer, and therefore a fellow heir in Christ, my first evangelistic ministry is to my children. My life ought to be a living example of God's kindness and mercy to them. And my understanding of God informs and enhances my ability to live out this task.

A deeper understanding of God not only motivates my living for him, but it allows me to directly and correctly instruct my children. Though it is essential, it's not enough to assume that my holy living will inform my son about the characteristics of God. I need to be able to communicate those truths to him at every level of his understanding. In order for me to do that, I need to know those truths like the back of my hand. Second Peter 1:3 says, "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence." The Bible contains all truths that "pertain to life and godliness." Have you seen how big the Bible is?! Then you can appreciate the burden and gravitas of that charge!

Well, I'm not just reading the Bible in preparation for baby Calvin. I'm also reading good parenting books. I think it's important to make two distinctions right off the bat here. Firstly, I need to say that no amount of reading outside the Bible, even books by wise Christian authors, can replace or substitute reading to gain knowledge from the Bible. The Bible is the inspired Word of the creator of the universe. All other books, as helpful as they can be and as God-honoring as they may be, are not. I admit that I have a tendency to spend more time reading books by MacArthur, Piper and others because of the ease of readability. But this should not be. And I'm making efforts to combat this. I'd encourage anyone reading this to make more efforts in getting your wisdom and knowledge PRIMARILY from the Word of God and not being content with Christian books that quote the Bible. I promise there is a difference in authority, and there is a difference in how your soul will be influenced.

Secondly, I want to emphasize my word choice. "I'm reading good parenting books." By this, I don't just mean I'm reading Christian parenting books. Unfortunately, in the majority of Christian bookstores, there are few choice of books that have sound doctrine, that exalt God above man, and that have principles rooted in scripture. It's sad. And I really exhort anyone reading to be careful in those stores. Many Christian parenting books and resources today is just secular psychology wrapped in "christian" language that vaguely and superficially address biblical concepts of parenting. A secular psychological concept that is supported with a bible verse taken out of its context is NOT biblical. Be careful.

With that said, getting your hands on a good parenting book is not only helpful, it's wise. As important as it is to get your wisdom primarily from the Bible, God has gifted people with the ability to teach and help communicate the truths found in scripture. Don't be foolish enough to think you have it all figured out. Find reputable, Bible-exalting authors you trust who have proven to be beyond reproach and read what they have to say on different subjects. Make use of the resources available to you. I have read Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp and am currently reading What the Bible Says About Parenting by John MacArthur. Both are blessings to my heart and soul because they are rooted in scripture and I highly recommend both to parents, parents-to-be, or anyone who has children in their care (aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc).

At a later time, I will write about the other way I am preparing for baby Calvin: through fervent and sincere prayer. As important as reading the Word is, it's imperative that we remember that even in our study and diligence, we are dependent on God's grace to understand his truths, and to apply them to our lives.

Cuteness side note: as I was writing this, this little son of mine was squirming and kicking restlessly. I love being a mom. Right now, it's so easy. :)

My Summer Reading List

I've never really been a fan of summer until very recently. I think the fact that I don't have another semester waiting for me at the end of August is a significant factor in my new-found taste for the season. A few people have asked me what I'm doing with all my free time now that I don't have school. Besides the time I give to work and housework, deciding what to do with my time is pretty easy. Now that I am no longer obligated to read, I'm choosing to read! :)

I do have a couple of fun (what I consider fun) projects lined up for the summer such as organizing my spices, reformatting my Alice paper to APA for journal submission, studying some kinesiology for better workouts, working on our budgets, and trying out some new recipes. But, I hold onto all of these projects with a loose grip. I don't ever want to feel any type of bondage to them. I think it's very easy for me to make myself a slave to projects. (Which is ironic because even though I do, they sometimes don't get done). Just goes to show how naturally our hearts incline to anything other than Jesus. But I'm realizing that I can have these things planned loosely or "theoretically." By this, I mean, I would like all of these things to get done, but I'm not going to commit myself to them so wholeheartedly that I'd be disappointed with myself if they don't get done.

The same is true for my summer reading list. I have a handful of books that I'm reading and hope to read this summer. This will be more easily accomplished as I don't really have a deadline for the end of summer, haha! - My summer can end around October ;) Here's the list (in no particular order).

1. N.D. Wilson's 100 Cupboards series. This series lies somewhere in between young adult and children's literature. It's a little too intense for younger children, but doesn't deal too much with the coming-of-age issues that a piece of out and out YAL would. I have read the first two installments of this series, 100 Cupboards, and Dandelion Fire. I'm currently making my way through The Chestnut King. The series is about a 12 year old boy named Henry York. He is spending the summer on his uncle's farm in Kansas when he, in his attic bedroom, discovers a wall full of small cupboards. As the story unfolds, Henry finds that each cupboard is a doorway into a different world. As he discovers this, he unleashes a powerful evil that he and his family must spend the rest of the series fighting to conquer. 

Why I'm reading it: I loved (LOVED) N.D. Wilson's Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl. That was not a fantasy tale. It falls on the side of apologetics. Let me give you a taste of his writing style from Notes: "Imagine a poem written with such enormous three-dimensional words that we had to invent a smaller word to reference each of the big ones; that we had to rewrite the whole thing in shorthand, smashing it into two dimensions, just to talk about it. Or don't imagine. Look outside. Human language is our attempt at navigating God's language; it is us running between the lines of His epic, climbing on the vowels and building houses out of the consonants." 

Though this series isn't allegorical, per se, there definitely are characters that embody Christian characteristics and obstacles that remind the reader of the detriments of sin. At the beginning of the series, I found myself looking back to catch what I must have missed, and I honestly think those times were Wilson's fault. But! Not only did the writing get considerably tighter, the story was enough to keep me engaged despite interruptions of confusion. 

Originally, I only had the first installment on my reading list. But after I finished it, there was no way I could continue without finishing all three books. Wilson has been called the modern-day C.S. Lewis. I don't know about THAT, but there are some Lewis-ish qualities about him. What a great segway to my next book.... 

2. C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity.  If you know even a little about me, you know I'm a Lewis fan. I'm considering naming our next dog Clive. I first read this book about six years ago. I remember kind of zooming through it. Since then, I've learned that you don't ever (EVER) zoom through Lewis. Lewis is meant to be mulled over. Savored. Enjoyed. I always read a Lewis book on my "breaks." But I don't really have breaks anymore, so I'm just making my way down a check list of Lewis books. There are still plenty I have to read before I can happily say I've read every thing Lewis ever had published, but I do feel that without slowly and carefully re-reading this monumental Christian work, I'd be doing myself a disservice if I continued on to other Lewis books. Here are just a couple of rich quotes (of which there are several):

"My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust?"

"A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." 

"And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history - money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery - the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."

My mom was the one who got me started with Lewis. She has loved to read his books for as far back as I can remember and when I was a child, she read the first two Narnia books to me.  It was because of that warm memory of childhood that I knew C.S. Lewis would always be a significant part of my literary life. Speaking of childhood....

3. Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart. I began this parenting book earlier in the year but had to put it down because of the silly demands of school. Reading my required texts for CSUN was definitely a wiser use of my time in that season of life -- especially when the alternative is a parenting book and I'm not even pregnant yet.

This book is filled (FILLED) with biblical wisdom with regards to child-rearing. I've always kind of laughed when I thought about "book parents." But then I realized that books are really one of the biggest sources of superficial comfort for me. And that the greatest book of all is my greatest source of profound, unshakeable (and sometimes difficult) spiritual comfort. While I still kind of feel that parents who rely on every new pop-psychological parenting theory for comfort are a bit silly, I don't think this book is one of those. This book does a great job of explaining and laying out what God has intended for the role of parents. It consistently points to scripture (which, ultimately, is really the only authority on anything and everything), and gives practical insight and application. Spoiler alert: discipline is not an option, and neither is diligent communication. There's so much more beyond that as it gets age-specific in the latter half, but that really is the bread and butter of it.

I'm almost done with it and am SO glad I am a highlighting and note-taking type of reader because this is a book that I know I'm going to refer to often for many many many years to come.  Here's a taste of the blessings and bits of encouragement (and conviction!) I've received:

"All behavior is linked to attitudes of the heart. Therefore, discipline must address attitudes of the heart. This understanding does marvelous things for discipline. It makes the heart the issue, not just the behavior. It focuses correction on deeper things than changed behavior... Your concern is to unmask your child's sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed. That leads to the cross of Christ. It underscores the need for a Savior. It provides opportunities to show the glories of God who sent his Son to change hearts and free people enslaved to sin."

"In short, you must learn to engage them, not just reprove them. Help them see the ways that they are trying to slake their souls' thirst with that which cannot satisfy. You must help your kids gain a clear focus on the cross of Christ."

"The parent must be aware of the fact that he is God's representative to the child. I know of no realization that will sober and humble the parent like this one."

"If correction orbits around the parent who has been offended, then the focus will be venting anger or, perhaps, taking vengeance. The function is punitive. If, however, correction orbits around God as the one offended, then the focus is restoration. The function is remedial. It is designed to move a child who has disobeyed God back to the path of obedience."

One last one, though there are so many great quotes.

"Teaching your children to live for the glory of God must be your overarching objective. You must teach your children that as for them, as for all of mankind, life is found in knowing and serving the true and living God. The only worthy goal for life is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."

If you have kids, are about to have kids, want to have kids, are curious about what Christian parenting ought to look like, or want to know what the Bible says about the most important job in the world, I can't recommend this book highly enough.

4. John Piper's Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist. This is probably John Piper's most influential and popular book. I started reading this a little less than two years ago. I can't remember why I put it down, but I know it was a really foolish reason (it must have been) and so, it's time to pick it back up again! It really is difficult to summarize what this book does in such a small space. As I am looking through the parts of the book I've read for highlighted excerpts, I find that I can't select just a couple to indicate to you how rich, profound, enjoyable, soul-shaking, mind-blowing, joy-stirring, and overall wow this book is. I think this one and Mere Christianity tie for "books you have to read as soon as possible." It's not short. And it's not easy. But it's fulfilling. It is more than satisfying. It inspires to stand in awe in Jesus (and to find joy immeasurable in doing so). For those who love God, it is a feast for the soul.



That's all for now. These are the most pressing books on my list. I have several more. But these are the ones I've started and so, must finish. I've realized that somewhere down the line, I have become a bookworm. As a kid, I hated reading. Now, I'm not satisfied if I'm not in the process of reading at least two books at a time. Yes, I know, two books isn't all that much, but unfortunately I'm an incredibly slow reader. (This has been the bane of my academic career). So I can't really take more than two at a time without getting scatter brained and not really appreciating either book. I'm nearly done with the third N.D. Wilson book and Tedd Tripp's. I have a feeling I'll have to take Lewis and Piper individually.

I want to know what you're reading/you have read that you found has been either just a fun read, or a marrow-piercing blessing to your soul.

Think. Blink. Shrink. Wink.

Half-way through John Piper's book Think, I have a desire to share some of the quotes that have "struck lightening in my soul."





Introduction:

(Opening statement)
"This book is a plea to embrace serious thinking as a means of loving God and people. It is a plea to reject either-or thinking when it comes to head a heart, thinking and feeling, reason and faith, theology and doxology, mental labor and the ministry of love. It is a plea to see thinking as a necessary, God-ordained means of knowing God. Thinking is one of the ways that we put the fuel of knowledge on the fires of worship and service to the world."

"But I hate to sound snooty - which every book on thinking does."


Chapter One: My Pilgrimage

"Putting more knowledge in my head about God and his ways was like throwing wood in the furnace of my worship. For me, seeing has meant savoring. And the clearer the seeing, the sweeter he savoring."

"Thinking is not an end in itself. Nothing but God himself is finally an end in itself. Thinking is not the goal of life. Thinking, like non-thinking, can be the ground for boasting. Thinking, without prayer, without the Holy Spirit, without obedience, without love, will puff up and destroy (1 Cor 8:1)."

"Thinking is essential on the path to understanding. But understanding is a gift of God."

(Regarding an address Benjamin Warfield made)
"Sometimes we hear it said that ten minutes on your knees will give you a truer, deeper, more operative knowledge of God than ten hours over your books. 'What!' is the appropriate response, 'than ten hours over your books, on your knees?' - Both-and. Not either-or."


Chapter Two: Deep Help from a Dead Friend

"...if we are to live according to our nature as human beings in the image of God, and if we are to glorify God fully, we must engage our mind in knowing him truly and our hearts in loving him duly."

"...[Jonathan Edwards] made the work of thinking serve the experience of worship and love...strong emotions for the glory of God based on clear biblical views of the truth of God."

"The apex of glorifying God is enjoying him with the heart. But this is an empty emotionalism where that joy is not awakened and sustained by true views of God for who he really is. That is mainly what the mind is for."

"The best reading of the most insightful literature (especially the Bible) involves serious thinking."


Chapter Three: Reading as Thinking

"The Bible is the main place that we come to know God, adn the Bible is a book, and a book requires thinking."

(Quoting Mortimer Adler's How to Read a Book)
"Most of us do not know what the limits of our comprehension are. We have never tried our powers to the full. It is my honest belief that almost all the great books in every field are within the grasp of all normally intelligent men."
"It is certainly better to gather a few crumbs which have dropped from the table than to starve in futile adoration of the feast we cannot reach."

"If they construe my sentences in a way that is different from what I intend, then either I have written poorly or they have read poorly. Or both."

"The person who will not embrace the pain and frustration will remain at lower levels of achievement and joy."

"The joy is on the other side of the hard work... If you cannot embrace the pain of learning but must have instant gratification, you forfeit the greatest rewards of life. So it is with reading the Bible. The greater riches are for those who will work hard to understand all that is really there."

"And there is academic gamesmanship and unbelieving cynicism and indifferent dismissal. When I plead for the habit of asking questions, I mean humble questioning that expresses eagerness to grow and to uncover truth."


Chapter Four: Mental Adultery Is No Escape

"This is why the Pharisees are asking for a sign. They want to give the impression that there is not enough evidence that Jesus is the Messiah and so they are justified in not receiving him as their bridegroom. But, in fact, the problem is that they don't want him as their bridegroom. They are dominated by a spirit of adultery. They prefer other sources of satisfaction."

"...at the bottom of human irrationality and at the bottom of spiritual ignorance is hardness of heart."

"...unrighteousness disorders our capacity to think. The corruption of our hearts is the deepest root of our irrationality."

"...your mind functions just fine when seeking out partners in adultery (like comfort and safety on the sea as more precious than Christ), but it cannot see the signs of Christ-exalting truth."

"[Paul] emphatically makes God's gift the ground of our effort. He makes God's giving light the reason for our pursuing light."

"There is no way to awaken faith or strengthen faith that evades thinking."


Chapter Five: Rational Gospel, Spiritual Light

(Regarding people who say the receive Christ but give little evidence that they are spiritually alive). "...when these people 'receive Christ,' they do not receive him as supremely valuable. They receive him simply as sin-forgiver (because they love being guilt-free), and as rescuer-from-hell (because they love being pain-free), and as healer (because they love being disease-free), and as protector (because they love being safe), and as prosperity-giver (because the love being wealthy), and as creator (because they want a personal universe), and as Lord of history (because they want order and purpose). But they don't receive him as supremely and personally valuable for who he is."

"All natural men without any spiritual life love these things. But to embrace Jesus as your supreme treasure requires a new nature."

"Therefore, the ground of such faith must be the spiritual sight of such glory and beauty and value."

"We must hear the story and get the gospel facts and the doctrine right. But the decisive ground of saving faith is the glory of Christ seen in the gospel."

"No amount of reasoning or historical argument alone can produce spiritual sight in the blind. This is the limit of thinking."

"So I conclude that we must use our minds and we must know that the use of our minds is not enough."


Chapter Six: Love for God: Treasuring God with All Your Mind

"...love for God is not essentially thought or behavior but affection - not ideas or deeds but delight. God is our supreme pleasure. We prefer above all else to know him and see him and be with him and be like him."

"Jesus says that external actions - even religious ones directed toward him - are not the essence of worship. They are not the essence of love. What happens in the heart is essential. The external behaviors will be pleasing to God when they flow from a heart that freely treasures God above all things."

"Jesus does not equate loving God with serving God. He roots serving God in loving God. Loving God is treasuring him the way people do money, only vastly more and for different reasons."


Chapter Seven: Jesus Meets the Relativists

"God is ultimate Truth. And he never changes. Therefore, he is a firm, universal, never-changing foundation for truth about man and the world and life."

"Relativism comes into play when someone says, ' There is no knowable, objective, external standard for right and wrong that is valid for everyone...'"

"But [the mind] was created by God to discover the truth and respond to the truth in trusting God and loving people."

"...language does the tricky work of covering up the corruption."

"Jesus abominates that kind of arrogant, cowardly prostituting of the glorious gifts of human thinking and human language."

"Relativism is not a coherent philosophical system. It is riddled with contradictions - both logical and experiential... But if you are not claiming your defense of relativism is true, why do you expect me to listen?"

"People don't embrace relativism because it is philosophically satisfying. They embrace it because it is physically and emotionally gratifying."


I know that was a lot of quotes, but that just goes to show how excited I am about this read. I'm a couple of pages into chapter eight. This book has moments of significant weightiness. In fact, there's a section that I haven't quoted because I need to go back and really delve deeply into it. I feel like I missed a lot when I read it the first time. I can't wait to finish it.

Here are the chapter titles for the rest of the book:

- Unhelpful Anti-intellectualism Impulses in Our History
- You Have Hidden These Things From the Wise and Understanding
- In the Wisdom of God, the World did not know God Through Wisdom
- The Knowledge That Loves
- All Scholarship is for the Love of God and Man

I'm back, baby!

I, Daniela Orozco, by God's abundant and continuous grace, have just completed my junior year at California State University Northridge! I will be a senior next year. Frightening. But! I have an entire summer ahead of me before I have to think about that.

Last year, I posted a list of things I wanted to accomplish in the summer. The same goes for this summer. The difference is that this summer, I'm fortunate enough to not have to work. It's honestly a little bitter sweet. While we could definitely do great things with the extra income, not having work in the summer is going to be a blessing. I get to focus on my relationship with the Lord, serving my husband, and my commitment to my home. (The apartment looks like a disaster zone right now - as it always does the week after finals). I will have extra opportunity to spend time with friends and family, go hiking, read, and begin a project or two that have been on hold.

The plans for this summer (in no particular order):

- Catch up on my Bible reading plan. I'm several (SEVERAL)weeks behind.
- (FINALLY) Put together my wedding album.

- Read at least one new John Piper book - Probably Think

- Read at least one new C.S. Lewis book - Probably Til We Have Faces

Here are the two biggest projects and so they each deserve a paragraph worth of explanation.

First of all, memorizing scripture has always been a tremendous weakness for me. I can easily remember principles and doctrines, but I always have to look up where the evidence for those principles and doctrines are. To combat this unfortunate proclivity, my plan is to read even MORE C.S. Lewis fiction.

For a research paper on the influence of the Bible on C.S. Lewis fiction, I had to do a lot of cross references with certain C.S. Lewis novels and scripture. I found that those scriptural references remained a lot clearer in my mind for a longer period of time. So, big project #1 for this summer is to read through as many C.S. Lewis fiction as I can and write in the margins of the books the different scriptural references to characters, lines, situations, plots, etc.

Big project #2 is to begin on my book-writing endeavor. Many of you know that I have been wanting to begin writing a book exploring the spiritual perils of books like the Secret and other self-help new age nonsense. I plan on beginning my research for said book. All I need is to get MacArthur or Piper to write the forward and I'm set for a while.

In addition to these things, of course I'd like to make time to hike semi-regularly, keep up with a gym-schedule, keep the apartment presentable all the time, and try new recipes.

I also have one more significantly-smaller project concerning my blog. There are so many blogs out there whose thematic premise are things like, "Little things that make life great." I like the idea a lot, but considering it's very man-centered and ultimately temporal joys that will fade, I would like to regularly post things under the umbrella of, "Things that remind me of God's unwavering grace that result in my joy and admiration of his goodness." I don't think they put themes like that on coffee mugs, unfortunately.

The first thing that reminds me of God's unwavering grace that results in my joy and admiration of his goodness is.....

Sweet and juicy summer-time fruits :)

Alice: A Child's Adventures in Childhood

The following is the paper I submitted as my analysis of childhood displayed in Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I propose that innocence in childhood is a fabricated relationship. I don't think that blogspot will allow me to indent, but I think the paragraph breaks are clear enough. Enjoy.

A Child's Adventures in Childhood

Most cultures espouse innocence with the childhood age bracket. The corruption of youth is a common worry of parents who feel that the maintenance of this innocence is their duty to protect. While this protection is primarily protection from physical harm, as an infant transcends into a childhood age, parents seem determined to shelter them from the corruption of the evils of the world to prolong an assumed state of undefiled purity of mind. In the opening poem to Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Carroll gives us no indication of the necessity of associating innocence with childhood. In fact, as he describes his boat ride with the three Liddell sisters, whom he has endearingly named the, “cruel Three” (7), he describes their bold and audacious demands of his narration. It reads:

Imperious Prima flashes forth

Her edict 'to begin it' –

In gentler tone Secunda hopes

'There will be nonsense in it!' –

While Tertia interrupts the tale

Not more than once a minute. (13-18)

Such boldness is acceptable in childhood as it cultivates creativity and playfulness. In fact, it seems that childhood is quite dull without it. This audacity is necessary for good story-telling and enjoyable games of pretend, but it isn't looked on fondly in adulthood. As we follow Alice in her journey through a land in which she finds herself after haphazardly falling into a rabbit hole in pursuit of the unknown, we encounter an environment that is devoid of familiar logic and the validity of parental worry of corruption is put under a new light. This new environment brings out the essence of childhood in Alice. The strange situations, unfulfilled expectations, and the overall state of confusion drive Alice to react without tact or restraint. This gives us insight into the nature of her rudeness, impatience, search for identity, and her preoccupation with how she is viewed in the eyes of others. We very rarely see any signs of undefiled goodness, politeness, kindness, or desire to obey. The customs of Victorian England only serve to mask her natural flaw and selfish drive. In this timeless story of whimsy, we get a sense that this perception of child sinlessness is, like Wonderland itself, an illusion.

A representative of the child, Alice, like everyone else, is in pursuit of happiness. Thus far, however, the methods to facilitate this pursuit are limited to her. She reacts on whim and without forethought. This is most applicably seen in her initial pursuit of the White Rabbit. “...and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the hedge. In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again” (12). It is in her eager willingness and fearless curiosity that she chases the White Rabbit down into Wonderland. Not only does the narrator give no indication of inhibition or consideration on her part, he intentionally informs the reader that absolutely and undoubtedly no thought concerning caution that might have been invested into such a decision was put forth. Her immediate reactions indicate her state of mind. She still hasn't learned to process and weigh out the ramifications of her actions carefully. Coming from a society of customs, however, Alice understands that there are limitations to her speech and conduct, but still isn't completely comfortable in engaging as an active member in a society. This gives cause to consider childhood as a veil thinly masking the understanding of the reason for the customs in place. Children know that there are certain things that are permissible and certain things that are not. They're not necessarily sure why or which is which, but they are aware of the existence of the rule. Behaving in a manner innate to their nature is what is practiced, but the response that behavior gets determines whether it is acceptable behavior for the circumstance or whether they need to adapt it to receive a response more in their favor. At the beginning of the story, this is still a new application for Alice who is clearly living in the speak-first-think-later state of childhood. During her conversations with the mouse, she repeatedly allows the mention of her cat slip only to frighten away and offend the mouse causing him to leave during his narrative. When the birds in the group ask her who Dinah is, her lack of restraint indicate that she still hasn't learned the lesson of discernment. She says, “'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for catching mice...And oh! I wish you could see her after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!'” (40). The narrator tells us the effects of her exclamation. As she should have expected, “On various pretexts, they all moved off and Alice was soon left alone” (40). Innocence would require an individual to be ignorant of the institution of etiquette, and yet still naturally adhere to its standards of beauty and goodness. Here, childhood is not portrayed as the innocent and angelic stage of life in which things are simple and pure. It is the training ground for producing individuals that adhere to a set of social expectations and does well to educate them on the consequences of not fitting into a society.

As childhood becomes an atmosphere characterized by trial and error in which the consequences of errors are being outcast from the rest of society, the world – and for Alice, Wonderland – becomes a very confusing and frightening place. Like Alice in Wonderland, children find that very few things about the adult world make sense to them. Children then begin to utilize what little knowledge they have. It is important to understand, however, that this knowledge is not inherent comprehension, but rather acquired understanding attained from the observation of adults and the trial and error on the part of the children previously mentioned. Because children live within the confines of their imaginations until they begin their interactions with adults, logic and reason are learned behaviors necessary for the proper assimilation into a society that caters to grown men and women. As she travels through Wonderland, Alice has to adjust and reshape her preconceived notions of logic and reason to accommodate the “logic” of Wonderland. She often finds that her logic doesn't hold up to the standards of Wonderland and even do her a disservice. The most poignant example of different levels of logic can be found in her dialogue with the Cheshire Cat in the chapter, “Pig and Pepper.” Upon asking the Cheshire Cat which way she ought to go, he tells her that it depends entirely on where she wants to end up. To this she replies, “I don't much care where,” to which he logically, but still to little help replies, “Then it doesn't matter which way you go” (76). When Alice informs the Cheshire Cat that she does not wish to go among mad people, he responds, “Oh you can't help that...we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad...You must be...or you wouldn't have come here” (77). It is in this transaction that we see Alice's inability to reason in Wonderland. Her understanding of common sense has very little resemblance to theirs. This seems to comment on the relationship between children and adults. It indicates that adults view the logic of children as muddled and disorganized and children see adult logic as unnecessarily perplexing. Though the logic of a child might be viewed as idyllic and pure, the reality is that it is rigid and limiting: the less experience they have, the more stringent their reasoning abilities are. As a children and Alice grow, however, their logic becomes more malleable as they sacrifice the wonderment of the imagination and pretend for a world that is more tangible and visible. Alice politely entertains the idea presented by the Mock Turtle regarding the lessening of the lessons and fires back the very logical question, “And how did you manage on the twelfth?” (118). She does not challenge the Mock Turtle's credibility. She merely asked a question that would logically follow his account, even in Wonderland. His lack of response indicates the adult tendency to ignore reasonable questions asked by maturing children for which they have no answer.

Once Alice realizes that it might be to her benefit to begin implementing proper social English cues, she tries to apply them to Wonderland where they often don't work. This is met with frustration and disheartening. In her confused state, she finds that applying different approaches that she feels should result in her favor to certain situations often have the opposite effect. This shatters her confidence in the knowledge she believed to have acquired. This gives cause to consider children as vulnerable and emotional individuals who begin to question their understanding and, at times, the essence of their identity. Alice begins to have identity crises when she finds that that which she does well in England has no bearing in Wonderland. Childhood here can be categorized as a search for identity with the use of socially constructed measurements. For example, when Alice first questions who she is, she measures her identity by her ability to remember and recite the multiplication table. When she cannot, she concludes that she must now be someone else because the authentic Alice knows that information well. She says, “London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome, and Rome – no, that's all wrong, I'm certain! I must have been changed for Mabel!” (25). Throughout the story, we are given example after example of Alice demonstrating her knowledge, albeit at times her misunderstood knowledge, to prove to herself and to others that her identity is rooted in that which she knows, not necessarily that which she is because, due to all the physically changing tools given to her, that which she physically is may not be reliable evidence to prove her identity. During the trial of the Knave, she is very proud of herself for recognizing the roles in the courtroom. With the assistance of the narrator, she assesses herself in light of her English counterparts. She identifies the jurors multiple times to herself, “...being rather proud of it: for she thought and rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the meaning of it all” (130). Not only is this detached from any notion of innocence, it's laden with pride and self-exaltation. Children are depicted here as prideful individuals with an envious awareness of the intelligence of other children. Though she is proud of the amount of knowledge she possesses at her age, it is because her young age sometimes proves to be the cause of her rebuke that in this search for identity, Alice cannot maintain a constant desire or preference of age. She shows indecisiveness and contradiction. While trapped in the White Rabbit's house, she contemplates the possibility of ceasing to age and says, “...shall I never get any older than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way – never to be an old woman – but then – always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I shouldn't like that!” (44). She doesn't want the responsibility or appearance of adulthood, but doesn't like the submissiveness of childhood. This depicts children as indecisive and fickle. If innocent childhood is defined by contentment and joy, no one told the youth.

Eventually, Alice becomes so fed up with the nonsense of Wonderland that she asserts her role as an adult. This is seen in her physical growth in the last scene in Wonderland. This is what childhood eventually amounts to after an identity search, confusion, and frustration: an ability to have a participating voice in society. Innocence had no place at the beginning of this process and it certainly has no place in this culminating final stage. Childhood is the molding and preparation a young individual needs to undergo to learn how to function in a society of customs and regulations governing our naturally corrupt conditions. Wonderland, like the notion of innocence in childhood, is an illusion. It is one ended by the reality of wisdom and discernment as a child steps out of their dream world into reality; or, as in the case of Alice, when they are forcibly removed from it because they've been in Wonderland far too long.

My Summer Reading so Far

Alice is completely read and I adored it. Definitely something I will revisit often. I'm going to try to pick up a Lewis Carroll biography if I can before the summer ends. I really want to acquire more insight into his life and background. Next on the agenda is Surprised by Joy written by C.S. Lewis. I have begun to read it and so far, it reads like any other autobiography. I am so encouraged by his wit as I hope to absorb and master it for my writing eventually. Here is one of my favorite excerpts so far:

"To this general happiness there was one exception. I remember nothing earlier than the terror of certain dreams. It is a very common trouble at that age, yet it still seems to me odd that petted and guarded childhood should so often have in it a window opening on what is hardly less than Hell. My bad dreams were of two kinds. those about specters and those about insects. The second were, beyond comparison, the worse; to this day I would rather meet a ghost than a tarantula. And to this day I could almost find it in my heart to rationalize and justify my phobia. As Owen Barfield once said to me, 'The trouble about insects is that they are like French locomotives - they have all the works on the outside.' The works - that is the trouble. Their angular limbs, their jerky movements, their dry, metallic noises, all suggest either machines that have come to life or life degenerating into mechanism. You may add that in the hive and the anthill we see fully realized the two things that some of us most dread for our own species - the dominance of the female and the dominance of the collective."

I don't believe that his irrational (but eloquently and rather rationally described) fear of insects gives much, if any, insight into that which lead up to his conversion but that remains to be revealed. It's just interesting to think that someone so incomprehensibly afraid of insects is one of my greatest heroes. Maybe that gives some kind of insight into my condition and state of mind more than anything else.

Summerness

So as of yesterday at 11 30am, my summer officially began. I finished my very last final ever at Los Angeles City College and will be starting CSUN in the Fall. But this summer has the potential to be pretty intense for a number of reasons. First, I fully intend to ride my summer "high" of basking in the rays of freedom from LACC for a while. This will hopefully translate into a burst of new creativity. That's right ladies and gentlemen, this summer, I intend to complete my first larger-scale writing project. I have yet to determine whether it will be a book or a script but, the way it's being structured in my thinking process, it looks like it's leaning to be a script.

I absolutely don't have serious thoughts of selling it, or really doing anything with it for that matter. I just want to experience its completion with the purpose of acquiring insight into whether or not I might like to attempt to make a career out of it, keep it as a hobby, or abandon it altogether.

The second reason I believe my summer will be an explosion of purpose, productivity, and goodness is my comprised reading list. I will be reading Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, (if I have time by the end of my reading list, I'll begin its sequel, Through the Looking Glass), C.S. Lewis' Surprised by Joy, (his account of his conversion from a firm atheist to one of the greatest minds in Christianity). After that I will begin a daily study of the devotional, Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon, and finish everything up with John Piper's Desiring God. All this while beginning my biblical study on the topic of deep-rooted joy. I'll keep the blog updated with things that may come from these studies.

I will try to contribute to my blog more regularly as I will find myself with more time to do so. There are a few other reasons I'm excited about this summer but I'll keep them a surprise for now that will manifest themselves sometime along the way.

Mind, prepare to be stretched.

A Couple of my Choice Poems

There are few things I enjoy more than reading and writing. I recently entered some of my poetry and two of my short stories into a writing contest with my school. The results will be announced at the end of May. Here is a couple of poems I wrote about a year and a half ago.

This Cigarette

Writing by the light of a weakening cigarette
Loneliness becomes her as she's trying to forget
A jolted lover neither jolted nor loved to her regret
To kiss her isn't saying much - she's shared it with most she's met
Hopes of romance escape her in every pattern of smoke she lets
Permeate past her dry lips and the list of promises never kept
Haunt her heart and soul
All she has is now embodied in this cigarette



The Plan

And there's my ten-year plan
So flawless and imperfectly perfect
Well do you want to get married?
She asked
Of course
Is my default reply
Have I forgotten to factor in
Marriage? Into my
Seemingly, expertly
Pompously "perfected,"
Timelessly infected, eloquently ejected,
But now just rejected plan?
...Damn...

And what about children?
She goes on to say
Well, I begin to utter
I suppose, I begin to stutter
That would depend on my
Non-existing, but yet conflicting
Already-scripting, already-shifting
Spouse!